Chapter 15
澳洲：何木
Time goes faster when one is busy. Before Peter realised it their English Centre had already been operating for three months, during which things had played out smoothly, as what a first time entrepreneur must have wished for. The number of students had reached twenty five, making the training centre quite profitable, and Peter, who was the administrator and one of the two teachers, had never been so busy in his life. The English bar on the first floor had also begun to attract more customers, and with functions such as English parties and company cocktail events also open for service they believed the bar would soon make its ends meet, achieving its goal of not losing money for the first financial year. After all, running the bar was more for fun, the training centre more for profit, with the two able to promote each other in terms of marketing. And every time Peter felt his throat dry out after many hours of English lessons, he could just slip down to the bar to have a musical respite, enjoying the service provided by Bob, the bar manager as agreed in their partnership, and the other two employed bartenders.
And even happier was that Peter, in the name of helping Lily set up her website, had been able to spend much of his spare time with her. He went to her shop taking flower photos, designing the shop logo, and discussing website building issues. He was, like a bird, flying frequently between the English centre and her flower shop and her smiling at him was a magic that would blow away any of his bodily weariness.
But he had been very careful not to breach the boundary of their true ‘friends’ relationship. Her boyfriend, a hotpot restaurant owner, and a thin and tall guy who was fond of driving his motorcycle in that conspicuous way, often visited the flower shop. Whenever he and Peter happened to meet each other, they appeared to be civil and polite to each other. Peter didn’t know what Lily had explained to her boyfriend about his involvement in the website development, but it seemed that whatever suspicion he might have had in the past must have been put aside.
And even when her website was already up and running, Peter still had plausible reasons to see Lily, helping her with the website maintenance, although not as often as before. Therefore, with more understanding about each other, they became closer and more natural in receiving each other as 'good' friends. Once, in the shop, Peter even teased her by buying her a lily just as he had done before, and Lily wasn’t angry at him. She simply took the flower from him, smiled a gorgeous smile, and feigned to hit him with the scissors in her hand.
But Peter knew he still loved her, as all of his close friends did, who would try as they could to encourage him to be braver in chasing her, to overcome the fact she had already had a ‘boyfriend’.
“But, you know, it is not appropriate,” said Peter ruefully, one late afternoon in the bar with the couples of Xiaobai and Bob. “She had told me many times to be only her friend and now that I have become acquainted with her boyfriend it is even harder for me to do anything…”
“Come on, Peter,” Bob said, patting Peter’s shoulder patronisingly, “you shouldn’t expect girls, especially pretty ones, to just sit idly waiting for you. My Tingting, for example, had a boyfriend before, but now look, she is mine,” she turned to Tingting and gave her a noisy kiss. “And Peter, among us, you are the only one who had ‘drunk the foreign-ink’, I wonder how your mind was so old-fashioned? You must not be afraid of going after whoever you love, even if she is married, she can divorce and marry you …”
“Call her right now,” Xiaobai was adding more fuel into the discussion, “Ask her to come here, let’s help you if you don’t help yourself...”
Peter, for the moment, felt his hormones flustering in him. “Okay, okay,” he said, taking a large sip of whiskey to allow the careless part of him, “but I doubt she can get out at this hour.”
Arranging his nerves for another minute, Peter proceeded to make the call. “Hi Lily, it is Peter, eh, Xiaobai and Ming are here in the bar. They say, they say they haven’t seen you for ages, and missed you very much…so…”
“But I am out on my way to the flower market…”
“Are you? Okay then … never mind.”
But before Peter hung up, Xiaobai grabbed his phone and said, “Hey Lily Girl, this is Xiaobai, and Ming, we miss you very, very much and we also want to discuss with you about our wedding flowers, please do find your time to see us...”
“Emm ... Okay I will try to make it, only if you don't mind waiting an hour for me?”
“Not at all, we will be here the whole evening anyway,” Xiaobai said cheerfully, and after ending the call, he chided Peter, “Peter, what is wrong with you? You are supposed to be an expert on this.”
Ming squeezed his arm and warned him, “Bai, be careful, if I know you do tricks flirting with other girls, I will kill you…”
And they all laughed.
When Lily turned up in the bar, nearly two hours later, Peter was amazed with her dress he had never seen her wearing before. Part of him wished to think that she was wearing it particularly for him. In a pale yellow skirt and a pair of white sneakers she looked more like a carefree schoolgirl, instead of a ‘boss’ who had worked tirelessly in a flower shop for several years.
“Now, the first toast is for,” Bob began, winking at Peter and then Lily, “for the ‘Friendship' between our Peter and Lily,” with his emphasis on ‘friendship’ so apparent that no one at present would have missed his undertone.
“Yes, yes,” Xiaobai echoed, his small face brightened with many drinks he had taken since the afternoon, “Lily Girl was indeed like the magic spell to the opening of Peter's Alibaba, leading to his mines of treasures, so let’s toast for the friendship of them, even better, the Love between them …Cheers!”
Lily, though smart enough to have caught their implications, was very calm. “Cheers,” she said, handling the tall wine glass like a stem of flower, “for our true Friendship, and I wish I were the magic spell for your Alibaba, but see, unlike you guys, I have never been to a university, I didn’t study well at my school, anyway, thank you, Peter, for setting up the website for me, and thank all of you for your help, I really, really appreciate it,” and after her ‘sophisticated’ speech that belied her ‘green’ appearance, she tipped her glass and let the red wine dive into her mouth.
“Lily,” Peter said, gazing at her with his smoky eyes, “University is nothing.. just wasting time and money studying useless stuff…”
Bob added on, “Yes, look at me, I am now a bartender, which has nothing to do with what I have studied at university, and so is the case with Xiaobai and Ming, who are having a pig farm. Among us I would say only Tingting is doing a job closer to her study of graph design. So Lily, we should all have learnt from you, doing things you like to do straightaway, without wasting time and money.”
“No, I can’t agree with you,” Lily replied, “I know you guys are just flattering me. Let me take Peter as an example, because of his study in Australia, his English has become so good, and able to run a business like this, and also able to help me with that complicated website, and you, Bob, you can’t deny what you have learnt at university had one way or the other helped you run this bar, whilst looking at me, I could only make those simple flowers.”
For a minute or two, the boys felt they couldn’t find any countering words to defend their position. So Tingting took the chance, “Lily, you are making the beautiful but never simple flowers, I bet none of us could match the colours as well as you. I have studied a lot of colour theory at university, but in practice Lily is a true colour matching master. So, really, I need to learn from you, Lily...”
“Yes, yes, let’s all learn from you,” Bob nodded, after taking a sip of the cocktail, his latest favourite drink.
Entering into the night, the bar became a lot busier. Bob, as well as Peter, often had to leave their table to help serve the customers. And under the influence of more alcohol, both Bob and Xiaobai grew bolder and more frankly speaking, in their effort to help Peter with his love affair.
“Lily,” Bob said airily, who had just come back after receiving a large group of university students into seats, “You know Peter loves you, don’t you?”
Lily, whose face was now rendered scarlet with drinks, hesitated for a second or two, before she replied, “I know, I know, but you see, I already have a boyfriend, he has been very good to me, and we are actually planning to marry at the spring festival,” she paused to let her words sink in, and for the first time she seemed afraid of making eye contact with Peter. “And surely Peter will find a better and more suitable girl than me. Anyway, can we drop this topic? I think I have come here to discuss the wedding?”
But there wasn’t any wedding to discuss. “Lily, please,” Xiaobai said, ignoring her question, “we all know you have a boyfriend. But listen to me, you and Peter are a perfect match, think how much better you have both become since you knew each other? Sometimes only the outsiders have a more objective view of the situation.”
“Yes, yes,” Ming chimed in, “Look at them, don’t you think they somehow look like each other?”
Peter couldn’t help but chuckle, “Ming, you are so funny, I am so ugly and Lily is so beautiful, how can we look like each other?”
“It is not about the physical appearance, I mean something like… what is the word, yes, temperament, you have the temperament, the innate easiness of getting along with each other, like what must exist in a born couple. In the Chinese saying, it is like you two had a fate of love in your last life, and this is also what Xiaobai and myself had,” she turned to Xiaobai, “Bai, you agree?”
“Yes, darling, in our last life, you were a female pig, I was a male, no, no, perhaps you were the male...”
Their laughter was so loud that one curious bartender rushed over to make an enquiry, “boss, boss, what is the fun, tell me, tell me…”
And Bob said to her, “You, little girl, are too young to know about these things, don't be so nosy, go back to care for the customers.”
After she had left, Lily went on, “Haha, you guys are all like an expert on love …” then she got up, holding her glass, and attended to Peter in a serious voice, “Peter, again, for our friendship, now let’s bottom up and I truly wish you will soon find your best second half.”
They both finished what was left in their glasses, and while Bob was about to fill her glass, she covered it with her hand and said, “No, Bob, I need to go back to my shop, you guys enjoy the rest of the evening.”
“Well, indeed it is late enough," said Peter, "let me accompany you to your shop.”
“No, no, Peter,” she said firmly. “No trouble, you stay with your friends and also the bar is busy and needs you…”
After seeing her off in a Didi, Peter returned to his friends. “See, it is impossible,” he said ruefully, “She has said that to me many, many times.”
“No, no, Peter, you are wrong,” Tingting said, “I see it differently from a girl’s perspective. Isn’t obvious that she does like or even love you, admiring you very much, which is the most important thing above all. She seems only afraid that she is somehow lower than you, and can't be your level match. And as far as her boyfriend is concerned, he has only been ‘good’ to her, but that is not ‘love’ at all, at best a kind of gratitude. So, Peter, pick up your courage and do whatever you can to assure her of your love, letting her know that you don’t look down upon her by her education or other things she may feel inferior for. Is she from somewhere in the countryside in Bazhong, Peter?”
“Yes, she has a younger brother still in middle school, her parents are both peasants,” replied Peter.
“See, she perhaps feels too humble with you.”
Peter’s spirit, affected by a girl’s ‘perspective’, went up a notch or two. Yes, what if Lily really loves him, and only holds a sort of obligation to her boyfriend? Was that the reason she and her boyfriend often talked to each other business-like, unlike how a loving couple should in a more affectionate manner?
Another day, after his class, Peter decided to seriously challenge himself. “Hi Lily, how are you?”
“Hi Peter, I am very well, and very busy. Thanks to the website, now the orders from it account for nearly half of my business.”
“Really? That is great news, sure it will get better and better.”
“Emm…”
“Lily, you know, I Love You!” Peter poured his heart out, “ever since you stole my heart on that fateful night I have never stopped Loving you …”
“Peter!”
“Yes, I Love You, Lily,” he persisted, tears beginning to stir in his eyes.
A long silence ensued, before she broke it. “Peter, please, don’t say that, otherwise we may not even be friends.”
“No, no, Lily, please,” he now heard himself sobbing.
“No, Peter, you must forget me, sorry ...”
Then she hung up.
Holding the phone, Peter stood dazed. Then, with a mighty obstinateness, he punched her number again.
“Peter…why are you so stubborn?!”
“Because I love you.”
“Peter, I am only a high school graduate, never been to university, let alone to study overseas like you, we are so different, we won’t have a future, don’t you see it? Your parents will in no way approve of us, so we won’t be happy even if we Can be together.”
It was the first time she had not explicitly used her boyfriend as the dead end excuse, which somehow dramatically heightened Peter’s hope as well as his speaking passion. “No, no, Lily, the fact is I can’t love anyone else but you. I met you at my lowest point in life. See, without you, I would still be a vagabond on the street. My parents will be very proud of you, for your coming to my life is a great gift to me, they know how happy and better a person I have become ever since you have introduced the first student to me. I have told my parents all about this … so please Lily, don’t refuse me, okay?’
There was a deafening silence from her end, but thank heavens, at least she had not already hung up. Peter, now with eagerness and desperation and ardour of love all mixed up in a turmoil that made his heart ache, waited another moment before probing very carefully, “Lily, Lily, are you still there? Please don’t say no to me…”
But there was still not a sound from her, though he knew she had been there listening. So he had to continue speaking for the sake of keeping the line live, “Lily, I want to see you now, can we talk? Even if you still want to refuse me, I want to hear you say it face to face to me, even if it is the last time, okay?”
Again, no answer from her, albeit the line was still on. “Lily, can we go out to dinner tonight, just the two of us, make it our first, or…if you are so determined, make it our last, please Lily, say something...”
Then, at last, from her end came a little murmur, “Ehm…” then the phone went off.
For a minute or two, Peter stood there totally bewildered, not knowing if her ‘Ehm’ was a Yes or No. Then suddenly he began to jump; he saw outside the window the happy sky began to fall. He was elated, after realising she had indeed accepted his dating request, which was the first time she had ever given her concession to meet only him outside her shop.
Wasting not a second he opened his computer and began to search for the 'best' possible restaurant through the internet. He came across an Italian restaurant, looking high-class and romantic, and the most interesting was that it even served Australian lobster. Quickly he called the restaurant and made a reservation for two at 7pm, then he sent the reservation details to her.
Prior to 7pm, Peter was already at the restaurant, which was on the 35th floor of a tower building. Too nervous to be rational, he had taken the lift up and down the tower at least three times. Will she come? What if she won’t? What if she sends a message to him any second from now saying she won't make it?
The agonising what-ifs rendered him agitated, his hand feeling shaky, either in holding the phone, or pressing the button of the lift.
When the ding of a message did arrive to alert him, his heart stopped frozen. Anxiety-stricken, he dared his eyes to peer at it, and instantly the tension was snapping free by the text, “Peter, the Didi driver doesn’t know where the restaurant is.”
His blood of relief afforded him a swiftest reply, “Where are you now?”
“I am at the … street, still in Didi, and where are you?”
“We are indeed very close. I am at the front of the restaurant building, now, listen, you just get out of Didi and stay where you are, and I will come to find you..”
Using WeChat’s real-time location service, Peter moved step by step closer to her. Then, there she was, standing alone on a walk path, like a lonely flower in the grass sea of traffic.
She had never looked so vulnerable and so much needed him.
Yes, she loves me, as much as I love her!
He was running to her, as if to rescue her from her loneliness. The moment she was within an arm’s range, he pulled her to him. Then as if driven by a divine power, he kissed her on her lips.
There was a second or two of her struggle. But Peter was too lost in passion to notice it. The time had stopped, the traffic, and the brilliant Yinxing leaves, now a backdrop. Peter cupped the face that had been haunting him for so many days and nights, showered it with every ounce of his bottled up affection.
Then, as if woke up from a dream, she began to withdraw her tongue and lips from his, wriggling her body away from his. “Stop, stop, Peter … people watching us.”
Holding her by her arm, then by her waist, and with their feet like being chained together in some sort of sport, they tangled along on their way to the restaurant.
Like a gentleman he moved the chair for her; he cut the beef, fish, and lobster for her; he felt he was the sun, and the rain, feeding her as a young seedling.
And she was feeding him back, with her lovely and loving pupils, and with her charming dimple in her chin, and with the teardrops of her breasts delineated by her thin blouse.
“Lily, you are so beautiful,” Peter said, like he was commenting on a piece of artwork, “even your favourite lily can’t compete with you. You are Biyue Xiuhua, dimming the moon, shaming the flowers...”
“Peter, calm down, wouldn’t you?” she replied, slowly returning to her usual self, “You have made it hard for me. I thought I would come here to say things more clearly to you, for the last time…but now, after this, how shall I face my boyfriend…”
“Lily, I know it isn’t easy,” he spoke gently, “but tell me, do you really love him?” He then leant forward and put his hand onto hers, thinking how adorable she was when she was not so sure of herself. “I know you have a boyfriend, you have said that a thousand times. But you were not born to have him as your boyfriend, not as if we were living in an old feudal society. So if he could be your boyfriend, why not me?”
“Peter, it is not that simple,” said Lily sadly, and seriously, “My boyfriend had helped me set up the flower shop. Back then I was penniless, it was him who had helped me through the difficult days. Once, a few bad guys came to my shop causing trouble. He fought fiercely and ended up staying in the hospital for up to two weeks. So Peter, be reasonable, even if I like you I can’t possibly leave him. If you were me, what would you do? Will you be so cruel to hurt somebody who has helped you and loved you so much?”
“But... Lily, neither time nor gratitude is a proper measure of love,” Peter said unconvincingly, his heart sinking, “don’t you see you are only grateful for him, and only want to pay him back, but that is not love, do you know the difference?”
“But what is love? I admit I like you, but I don’t know if it is love or simply another gratitude. And don’t forget we are very different in a lot of ways…”
“Lily, please,” Peter said, in desperation, “don’t overcomplicate things, just listen to your heart, do you feel happy with me staying with you? Whom will you really miss and want to talk to when you are lonely? Or will you feel lonely at all knowing that I, not him, love you so much?”
“I don’t know, don’t know,” she blurted out, pushing away the cuterlets on the table, as if they were Peter’s words that had troubled her. Then after throwing a sad, pleading glance at him, she laid her head down on her arms.
Slowly, her tears, silvery by reflecting the light, began to trip over her cheek.
Leaning over to her, Peter put his fingers to mend her sorrow. The drops that had damped his fingertips were crystals which would melt the hardest heart on earth. Then, he took a tissue, left his chair and walked around to her. “Sorry, Lily, Please,” he whispered, stroking her shoulders and wiping her tears.
She then sat up and, snatching the tissue from his hand, pushed him away and wiped her face herself.
In another while it was a dining course again. No more talk about love, no more dilemmas on life matters. They were focused on the food and drink, focusing on neither the past nor the future but the very present on the table.
Peter used the fork to deliver a piece to her mouth. In a little surprise she sat back to avoid it, but he rose and leaned further over so that she had no space left for the avoidance. To save the curious look from other diners she gave it a quick bite, like a fish snapping at a passing prey.
“Delicious?”
“Em… oh, is this the legendary Australian lobster?”
“Yeah… but honestly I don’t think it tastes better than the tiny shrimps from the river.”
“Then why did you come here?”
“I just want a nice and romantic place for us…”
“Thank you, Peter, you have been very nice to me, and I thank you very much for that, but as I have said numerous times, I really can’t be your girlfriend.”
Is this her final decision? Should he take her constant denial seriously? But how can he walk away from her, after what happened today?
This is going to be a much longer game, he thought. “Okay then, let us continue to be just friends,” he said, as light-heartedly as he could.
After the dinner, they shared a Didi going back to their respective destinations. In the back seat they kept a decent distance. The reckless passion Peter had had at the start of their meeting had already gone, replaced with a silence of dread that the dinner was after all, the first and also the last date of them.
Didi was pulling up first in front of her shop, when, in a feeling of desperation as if it were the end of the world, Peter collected her body once again into his arms, wanting to own the face and the lips for the last time. And as if she also felt it was her last time with Peter, Lily was responding enthusiastically to him.
‘Yes, yes, this is love, this is what love must be like,’ Peter’s mind was reeling, kissing her like mad, fumbling her body all over, and for the first time her full breasts became tangible in his hands.
A sudden cough by the Didi driver made them aware of their improper behaviour. Lily, like a cat, quickly slipped away from him, pushed the door open and managed to climb out.
Peter’s hand was still on hers, then on her waist, then on her leg, then on whichever part of her body that was the last remaining inside the chamber.
And all this while, standing outside the flower shop, was a man who must have witnessed all that had happened inside the car.
As if stung by a wasp, Peter let go of her sleeve, and closing the door with a bang, he hurried the driver to flee.
– to be continued –
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