闲聊英语写作--常见的问题

来源: chenm 于 2022-09-23 07:37:14 [档案] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读：次 (4946 bytes)

列出一些中国人在英语写作中常见的“毛病”。这些也是我以前常犯的“毛病”，也
是我经常看见中国人在英语写作中犯的“毛病”。例句取自一些英语书籍(类似的例
子在中国人文章中很多)，当然也是英美人常犯的“毛病”。这里所说的“毛病”，
不是词汇用法和语法方面的问题。

1) I went to the library in the afternoon. I took out a book that was on
the reading list. Then I went home to eat supper. I did not open the book
until after supper. Then I discovered that it was the wrong volume. I was
greatly annoyed. I should have looked at the book when I took it out. I
had nobody to blame but myself.

上面的写法冗长乏味。较好的写法如下：

1-1) In the afternoon, I went to the library to take out a book on the reading
list. Then, armed with my book, I went home for supper. Opening the book
after supper, I was greatly annoyed; it was the wrong volume. To take out
a book without looking at it was just like me. I had nobody to blame but
myself.

2) Formerly, science was taught by the textbook method, while now the laboratory
method is employed.

写作者总是认为变一变表达式比较好。在这里选择相同的表达式表示写作者坚定一
致的看法。较好的写法如下：

2-1) Formerly, science was taught by the textbook method; now it is taught
by the laboratory method.

3) [In the present paper I propose to deal with] one type of interdisciplinary
curriculum [which] can be built upon material ...

方括号中是冗余部分，可以不要。这种冗余写法在科技论文中常见。

4) Our country had vast resources but seemed almost wholly unprepared for
war. But within a year it had created an army of four million.

一个 but 紧接另一个 but ，形成“对比--对比”的不好结构。重新安排句子后，
较好的写法如下：

4-1) Our country seemed almost wholly unprepared for war. But it had vast
resources. Within a year it had created an army of four million.

5) Your cover letter should include information about your present employment
and why you want to change jobs.

写法要对称和均衡。较好的写法如下：

5-1) Your cover letter should include information about your present employment and explain why you want to change jobs.

6) He has worked for the bank for many years, is knowledgeable about all
areas of banking, and will be an excellent addition to top management.

相同的问题如 5)。较好的写法如下：

6-1) Employed by the bank for many years and knowledgeable about all areas
of banking, he will be an excellent addition to top management.

7) Most married actors either worked a second job, appeared in commercials
or their wives worked.

句子系列失去控制。最后部分应改一下，如：

7-1) Most married actors either worked a second job, appeared in commercials
or had wives who worked.

8) The skier swished over the crest, his skis chattering across the ice granules
the morning sun had yet to melt. He pumped his arms for added speed, and
he shouted his enthusiasm into the cavernous morning cold ...

一般写作都强调使用主动语态。但适当地使用被动态可以避免单调：

8-1) The skier swished over the crest, his skis chattering across the ice
granules that had not been melted by the morning sun. Speed was increased
by pumping his arms, and he shouted his enthusiasm into the cavernous morning cold ...

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