《肖像 Portrait》

来源: 忒忒绿于 2022-07-26 08:56:02 [档案] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读：次 (4830 bytes)

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The first frost came in the night, a clear, scant-started night, when the moon was near its fullness.

Silent, followed the heels of Vibrato (颤音), one of pals in MYSJ and a well known Chinese American poet, I went to AllPoetry, the biggest online publisher of English poetry. I published one of my English poems there then.

How exciting! The short piece got an auto-ranked score for 8.9 and professional similarity 6 of 10. Moreover, several poets left their comments on it. The feedbacks on my poems from readers always mean a lot to me. I knew they were always nice to new comers.

You might think I’m showing off, but I don’t intend to do that. Just for fun, LOL：））

这首诗被AllPoentry选上首页。这里许多朋友见过它的中文版。

Portrait
by TweetinGreen

on a strange sky dome
using meticulous skill
with a calligraphic brush
draw an oil painting
waves in the vast ocean
the dawning and twilight
thorny blood paths
gullies crisscross

so beautiful
a new genre

a shaved face
covered with mottled paints and inks
heh heh heh grinning
in a corner, a cup of tea
still jasmine

AllPoetry 评分和评论:

Posted a month ago. immigrants, hope, hardness.
Like (12)

Front page pick 17 days ago.

Autorank Total 8.9, professional similarity 6 (of 10), concrete vs abstract 2 (of 2), noun/verb/etc order 0.9 (of 1)

Likes: A white rob, noseringpoems, Alice Z, HBey K, kaye, Ken doll, Stuart Munro, Mumtaz Noori, Dub Evergreen, Kh Ventura, Cozyglow, Kelley Citrin

Alice Z - A beautiful piece with a sense of history.
Ken doll - Beautiful well written work. Congratulations on well deserved front page pick, enjoyed a day ago

Mumtaz Noori - Congratulations on FPP, a well deserved piece

Good poem. 17 days ago

HBey K - A wonderful canvas is here described in full eloquence.

Amazing 17 days

Kh Ventura - wonderfully written, such a delightful piece to read, Thank you

Nicely done a month ago

Cozyglow - I love this poem. It’s such a meaningful and vivid portrait of the first generation immigrants. We crossed oceans and treaded thorny paths to come to a new place to seek a dream. We worked hard and overcame a lot of obstacles to get to today’s good life. “ in a corner, a cup of tea still jasmine”, inside, we still have a place for our old lands. Really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing! a month ago

Stuart Munro - Nice subject poetry

Lovely a month ago

Kelley Citrin - I am absolutely obsessed with this poem. The last line felt resilient and hopeful, concise imagery, pretty words. I adore it. Stunning. a month ago

附中文版：

《肖像》

在陌生的天幕上
用毛笔，工笔山水技法
画了一幅油画
波澜壮阔，朝晖暮色
荆棘血路，沟壑交错

很美
成了新流派

哎，是你吗？
满脸，满身的
斑驳水彩，油墨
嘿嘿笑
在一个角落里
喝的茶
还是茉莉花