周末一笑: The Christmas gift(ZT)

来源: 南山松 2016-12-23 18:18:20 [] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读: 次 (4945 bytes)
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1 圣诞礼物/The Christmas gift

One night before Christmas a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.

When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Christmas. What do you think it could mean?"

"You'll find out on Christmas Day." he said with a knowing smile.

On Christmas Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.

Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

圣诞节前的一个夜晚,一个女人做了个有关美丽项链的可爱的梦。

当她醒来,她对她丈夫说:“我刚梦到你圣诞节给了我一条珍珠项链。你说那是什么含义呢?”。

“到圣诞节那天你就会知道了。”他带着一个会意的微笑说。

圣诞节那天,男人给了他欣喜的妻子一个包装漂亮的包裹。

她兴奋地打开,发现只是一本书名为《梦的解析》的书。

2 “孩子”的复数形式/The plural Form of "Child"

Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

Tom: Men.

Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

Tom: Twins.

老师:汤姆,“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?

汤姆:男人们。

老师:答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?

汤姆:双胞胎。

3 医院要怎么走/How to Get to the hospital

An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused. 

"Excuse me, Officer! Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?"

The officer was very busy and said, "Just stand here and you'll get there!"

有个很健忘的人站在车水马龙的十字路口正中央,那里有个警察正忙着指挥交通,而他不断地去干扰这位值勤的警察,因为他搞不清楚方向。

他问道:“请问一下,警察先生,可以告诉我医院怎么走吗?”

这个忙不过来的警察对他说:“就站在这里,你就会到医院了!”

4 Who is my father/谁是我的爸爸?

A child aged seven or eight ran hastily to the police station and told a policeman, "Please come quickly! A man is at my house beating up my father. He is dying!" The policemen therefore rushed to the scene with the child. They indeed saw two men fighting with one another. The policeman said, "Which one is your father?" 

The child answered, "I also do not know who is my father, that's why they are fighting."

有一个七、八岁的小孩匆匆地跑到警察局,说:“请你们赶快来啊,有人在我家那边打我爸爸。他快死了!”警察就赶快跟着小孩子赶到现场,果然看到有两个男人在打架。警察说:“哪一个是你的爸爸?”

小孩说:“我也不知道谁是我爸爸,所以他们两个才打起来。”

5 去厨房怎么样?/How About the Kitchen?

Jack told his wife, Helen, that he wanted to spend his vacation where he had never been before.

Helen said, “How about the kitchen?”

杰克对他的妻子海伦说,他想去以前从没到过的地方度假。

海伦说:“去厨房怎么样?”

6 让鸡活着吧/Let the chicken live

I wanted to make my mark as the new food-service officer at a recruit training center. The menu was loaded with red meat, so I devised a new one to reduce cholesterol. I substituted chicken for beef, and awaited comments from the suggestion box.

The first one summed up the recruits' feelings. It read simply, ″Let the chicken live.″

我在新兵训练中心当上后勤服务长官时,想留下一些功绩。因为菜单上都是红肉,所以我设计了一个新的菜单,用鸡肉来代替牛肉,以减少胆固醇。我等待着来自意见箱的评价。

第一个意见总结出了新兵们的感觉,写得很简单:“让鸡活着吧。”

祝大家圣诞快乐!

所有跟帖: 

without fighting, no father -走马读人- 给 走马读人 发送悄悄话 走马读人 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 12/24/2016 postreply 08:52:54

哈哈,走马读人,圣诞快乐! -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 12/24/2016 postreply 11:17:22

Merry Christmas! :))) The first one, the wife is expecting a rea -小贝壳weed- 给 小贝壳weed 发送悄悄话 小贝壳weed 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 12/24/2016 postreply 08:56:51

a real pearl necklace -小贝壳weed- 给 小贝壳weed 发送悄悄话 小贝壳weed 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 12/24/2016 postreply 08:57:22

Yes, you're right. Happy Holidays, 小贝壳! -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 12/24/2016 postreply 11:18:37

谢谢松松的应景笑话, 并祝圣诞快乐。 -斓婷- 给 斓婷 发送悄悄话 斓婷 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 12/24/2016 postreply 13:37:54

谢谢斓婷一贯的支持和鼓励,圣诞快乐! -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 12/24/2016 postreply 20:43:01

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