1 我不能走/I Cannot Leave
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally, when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room." "Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
一大批人在开会。最开始，发言的人讲得很有趣，但时间慢慢地过去，他变得很沉闷。最后，当他讲完的时候，只有一个人坐在大房间里。发言者走上前去，对他说，“其他所有人都走了，而你却听到最后，谢谢你。”“哦!别客气!”那人回答说，“我不能走，因为我是下一位发言者。”
2 让我教你/Let Me Show You How
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
“But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom—I' 11 show you how."
家超市雇用了一个年轻人，他第一天上班报到。
经理热情地欢迎了他，和他握手微笑，之后递给他一把扫帚说，“你的第一份工作是打扫商店。”
“但是，我是名大学毕业生，”年轻人愤怒地回答道。
“噢，对不起。我没注意，”经理说。“来，把扫帚给我—我教你如何做。”
3 一半/A Half
Patient:Doctor, lately I hear only half as well as I suppose to.
Doctor:I don't understand that, but let's try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight.
Patient:Forty-four.
病人：医生，最近我的听力只有我应该听到的一半。
医生：我不太明白，但是让我们做个小测试。跟我说:88。
病人：44。
4 工作要求/The Requirements of the Job
Employer: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
雇主：我们这项工作需要负责的人。
应聘者:我就是你们要找的人。我的上一份工作每次出了差错，他们都说我该负责。
5 疼痛/Hurts
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says，“When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee-OUCH!When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you-you've broken your finger!"
一位男士去看医生，说，“医生，无论我碰哪里，哪里都疼。”
医生问，“你是什么意思？”
这个人说，“当我碰我的肩膀时，肩膀很疼。当我碰我的膝盖——哎呦！当我碰我的额头时，它真的，真的很痛。”
医生说，“我知道你哪里有毛病了——你的手指破了！”
6 停车罚款/Fine for Parking
"Tell me again,"asked the judge, "Why you parked there?" The driver rose and answered respectfully, "Because, Your Honor, it said‘Fine for Parking'."
“告诉我，”法官问道，“你为什么把车停在那儿？”司机站起身，恭恭敬敬地回答，“因为尊敬的阁下，牌子上写着‘可以停车’。”(牌子上的实际意思是“停车罚款”) 。
By the way, I will be out of town later next week, so no周末一笑next weekend. Thank you.
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