The changes are marked in green.
I am at the end of my wit and unable to go further with this essay, unless you explicitly point out the errors.
• 昨天给你提的两处你还没改。其一 -youdecide- ♂ (129 bytes) () 07/11/2015 postreply 08:34:46
• 我这个白 痴又上当了。 -youdecide- ♂ (51 bytes) () 07/11/2015 postreply 09:50:38
• Discuss: 20-mile-trip -JasmineZ- ♀ (368 bytes) () 07/11/2015 postreply 11:52:47
• 9-year-old 可以 -youdecide- ♂ (69 bytes) () 07/11/2015 postreply 12:27:13
• Thank you. -JasmineZ- ♀ (0 bytes) () 07/13/2015 postreply 04:20:56