I see that you put a lot of work in the translation

I believe that there is an omission of an 'in' in below line and I do not think one can use only one 'in' for both the weather and the location at the same time. If I am right the line should have 11 syllables.

"In last year's weather and (in) the pavi'ion old"

I do not know the rules and the practice of compacting a word. Can it be used to any noun(pavi'ion)?

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not picky. I made more mistakes. I just try to say that using the same number of syllables and the same meters in a translation is so hard if it is ever possible.