I think you did a good job overall. But I like to bring up one thing for discussion.
西北望长安，
可怜无数山！
=
Looking west towards Changan,
But I was saddened because the mountains blocked my view.
If my paraphrasing is right how "I pity those many a mountain!" delivers the same meaning?
西北望长安，
可怜无数山！
=
Looking west towards Changan,
But I was saddened because the mountains blocked my view.
If my paraphrasing is right how "I pity those many a mountain!" delivers the same meaning?
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