周末一笑: At the Supermarket

来源: 南山松 2014-10-18 04:58:44 [] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读: 次 (8550 bytes)
1 在超级市场 At the Supermarket

At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle, there he was, smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the dairy counter I was checking out the eggs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that it was the same man. "Lady," he finally said, "you have my shopping cart."
2 两个比目鱼问题 The Problem of Two Flounders
Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that got away". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish." If I use both," he told his wife, "it will seem ostentatious."
"Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested.
"No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.
The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.
"Dear," he called out to his wife, "bring in the other flounder!"
3 如是请求 This Way to Request
I had fallen and dislocated my elbow, which made writing checks for my small business nearly impossible. I called my bank to explain that the signature on my checks would look odd due to my accident, and would they please horror them anyway.
"Okay," said the woman on the phone, "but you' 11 have to write a letter to the bank telling them that you are requesting this."
4 紧急待机乘客 An Urgent Standby Passenger
While in Korea, Gov. Mike Smith of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge the Seoul airport, awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment, his press secretary, Jenny Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.
After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U. S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before take-off.
Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Smith of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger.It was Varela.
5 驾车的小伙子 The Young Man at the Wheel

My infant daughter began crying as I drove home from the store, and since she was harnessed to her safety seat in the back, I couldn't console her. Stopping for a red light, I turned around and waved my hands, calling her name to distract her. I gave her my biggest smile and blew her a kiss. The sound of a horn from the car behind us prompted me to look up. The young man at the wheel was smiling broadly .He waved and then blew me a kiss.
 
6 猫与托盘 The Cat and the Saucer
An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'm sorry," the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale:"
"Please," the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20 dollars. "
"The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money.
"Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. "
"Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this week I've sold 68 cats!"
(from Internet)
 
 

所有跟帖: 

cat catch a kit at kitchen. -走马读人- 给 走马读人 发送悄悄话 走马读人 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 10/18/2014 postreply 06:33:20

Interesting~ -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 10/18/2014 postreply 16:27:01

Kit girl must like kittens. -京燕花园- 给 京燕花园 发送悄悄话 京燕花园 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 10/18/2014 postreply 18:33:46

haha, it should be~ -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 10/18/2014 postreply 18:56:40

Haha, sometimes people misunderstand others with a good thought~ -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 10/18/2014 postreply 16:31:57

Songsong,thanks for sharing these hilarious jokes with us.新周好。 -斓婷- 给 斓婷 发送悄悄话 斓婷 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 10/20/2014 postreply 06:13:06

Hi, 斓婷, thanks for you comments, have a nice week!:) -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 10/20/2014 postreply 17:35:15

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