1．How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.
Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.
Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
2．Lucky Mother 幸运的母亲
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, when I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam. Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, aren’t you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
3．A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Having been married a long time, my hu*****and sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
4．Dead Seagull死去的海鸥
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son Bob ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" Bob asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
Bob thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
5．Reached Shore Fast快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down.
He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.
He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."
A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish."
After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
6．A Trip to Disney 迪斯尼之旅
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my hu*****and and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-bye, Mickey."
Our daughter waved and said, "Good-bye, Minnie."
My hu*****and waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-bye, Money."
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