【说文解字】八一集老友记 - 美剧 Friends
这文章是俺写的最累最费时的，整整一集Friends呀，一句一句台词，俺也要杜鹃啼血了。不是内容，内容不难，关键是码字和排版。俺码字是蜗牛，思维是火箭（不带这样明贬暗吹的，鄙视你）。 那个痛苦呀，码一段就堵一堆，心绞绞痛，所以一次只能写一小段，放放心气, 再写。 这文俺很早以前就开了个头，这次潜水好不容易是把它完成了，算了了个心病。大概校对了下，不大全，有些剧中的台词掉了，但95%都在，俺也没劲儿补全了，补全了估计俺也就彻底挂了。 大家凑合看吧 俺讲的也粗，也不是标准答案，纯属俺个人理解，认为有问题的，不用客气，尽管砸哈, 俺顶锅上阵的说~~ 顺便也贴个寻人启示，那个马奎同学早先受俺一妖文的蛊惑，下载了全套Friends，在家里地下室里猛K，失踪了大半年没往坛里冒泡了，估计不学完决不出来。马同学，您要是在潜水，冒个泡哈，证明不是俺谋害了您阿~~~ 祝大家有愉快的一个假期:) Lilac 发稿前才发现YOUTUBE上Friends的视频都不让转，也没有整集， 在土豆上挖了一个，文学城又BT不让贴，试了半天，头晕眼花，现在还在崩溃中~~~ 只好给大家一个url，要委屈您移驾屈尊跑一趟了 哪位好心有本事，能给大家贴到这儿，俺千恩万谢您了~~ (Please click) http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/muXXCdg4XpI/ The One With the East German Laundry Detergent 这集忽悠的是东德牌的大力洗衣粉 [Scene: Central Perk, all six are there.] Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal. Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right? Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up. Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that. Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me. Phoebe: Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care. (Long pause.) 男生集体长期无语了，戳到疼处了 Ross: Multiple orgasms! Ross Opening Credits Joey: No plans, huh? Chandler: Not a one. Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice? Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up. Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it. Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note. Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling. Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you. Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her. Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony. Ross: Tony? Monica: Oh, you're breaking up with Tony? Phoebe: Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know. Rachel: (waitressing) Does anybody want anything else? Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine. Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy? Ross: That guy, he burns me up. Chandler: Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady. Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Monica: Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing again? Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own". Phoebe: (rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh. Angela: Hi, Joey. Joey: My god, Angela. Monica: Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her. Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there? Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela. Angela: (casually) Joey. Joey: You look good. Angela: That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs. Joey: You don't say. (Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.) Ross: So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight? Rachel: Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Launderama. Ross: Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too? Rachel: Who? Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here? Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building? Ross: Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Rachel: Sure. (Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.) Angela: Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now. Joey: Bob? Who the hell's Bob? Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob... Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too. Angela: Yeah, well, sorry, Joe. You said let's just be friends, so guess what? Joey: What? Angela: We're just friends. Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends? (还不死心，一定要制造机会) Angela: What four of us? [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as (装作) his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with (拉郎配) Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.] Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you. Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet. Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is... Monica: (looking out window) Oh, god help us. Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me. Monica: What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls. Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please? [Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.] Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through ? Ross: It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal. Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date. Ross: Nuh-uh. Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwear—you want it to be dirty? Ross: (sheepish) No. 没气了，呈绵羊状 (sheepish) Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener? Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way. Chandler: There you go. Joey: Yep. (Angela and Bob walk in. Bob is good-looking.) [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.] Chandler: Where are they? Where are they? Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us. Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies. Phoebe: Eww, I don't wanna do that. (Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.) Chandler: Here we go. Chandler: Hey, Janice. Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please? Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off (胡花掉时间或钱) the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you... Chandler: What? Chandler: That's great. Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte? (Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.) Chandler: That's it? Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard. Chandler: Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal. Phoebe: Ok, you weren't there. [Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.] Woman: Comin' through. Move, move. Woman: Yeah, well, now you're kinda not. Rachel: But I saved it. I put my basket on top. (Ross arrives.) Ross: What's goin' on? Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry. Ross: Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent. (Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.) Rachel: What's that? (Rachel starts to load her clothes.) Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants? Ross: Rach, have you never done this before? Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things. Ross: (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call. Monica: (to Joey) He is so cute. (to Angela and Bob) So, where did you guys grow up? Angela: Brooklyn Heights. Joey: Oh my god. Commercial Break Joey: So, you and Angela, huh? Bob: Huh, I never really noticed. [Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.] Monica: I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific. Angela: You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed. Monica: Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity. Angela: Huh. That's nice. Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed. (Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.) [Scene: The laundromat.] Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do. Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh. Rachel: What uh-oh? Rachel: Ross, what's the matter? Rachel: Oh, everything's pink. Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone. Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry! (The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.) Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please? Monica: Oh my god. Joey: Come on, they're close. Monica: Close? She's got her tongue in his ear. Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross. Monica: Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it's—not really true, is it? Joey: Well, who's to say what's true? I mean... Monica: Oh my god, what were you thinking? Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little. Monica: (hits him lightly) Oh! Joey: Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you. Monica: Really? [Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.] Monica: I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story. Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here. [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.] Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom. Janice: Ow! Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world. Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had? Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la. Chandler: I'm fine. Chandler: How do you do that? Phoebe: It's like a gift. Chandler: We should always always break up together. Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that. [Scene: The Launderama. Rachel is sorting her now-pink clothes.] Ross: You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part. Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies (睡衣) now. (The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.) Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way. (Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.) Rachel: I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart. Woman: Let go! Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it! Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that? Rachel: I could not have done this without you. (Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.) Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine. Rachel: Are you sure? Closing Credits Rachel: Oh, are you sure you're ok? Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this. (Monica and Joey enter.) Monica: Hi. Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way. Monica: (notices his head) Oh, I'm sorry. Rachel: Where's Chandler? Phoebe: Oh, he needed some time to grieve. (Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.) Phoebe: That oughta do it. End - 各人得着各人的好，真是个幸福的大结局 lilac - 05, 2010 |
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