1 我要做的一切就是付钱/All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"
"I’m the people. All I do is pay."
布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”
“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”
2 开个玩笑
A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad.
"What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? "asked one of them.
"So he won't join the army, " the youngster replied without blinking an eye.
一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：
“小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么?”
“这样，他就不会去参军了。”小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。
3 我是单身汉
Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.
Jack finished them and gave them back.
"Anything else?" The nurse asked.
"Yes," Jack thinks for a while and said, "I'm a bachelor."
杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。
杰克填好递上表格。
"还有什么漏填的?"护士问。
"有!"杰克想了想说，"我是个单身汉。"
4 致女朋友的一封信/A Letter to a Girl Friend
One day a young man was writing a letter to his girlfriend who lived just a few miles away in a nearby town. Among other things, he was telling her how much he loved her and how wonderful he thought she was. The more he wrote the more poetic he became. Finally, he said that to be with her he would suffer the greatest difficulties, he would face the greatest dangers that anyone could imagine. In fact, to spend only one minute with her, he would climb the highest mountain in the world, he would swim across the widest river, he would enter the deepest forest and with his bare hands fight against the fiercest animals.
He finished the letter, signed his name, and then suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to mention something quite important. So, in a postscript below his name, he added: "By the way I'll be over to see you on Wednesday night -- if it doesn't rain."
一天，一个青年男子给住在离他几英里远的镇上的女朋友写信。除写了其他的事情外，他告诉她他爱她有多深，他认为她有多好，他越写越富有诗意。最后，他写道，为了能和她呆在一起，他将克服最大的困难，他将面对任何人能够想像的最大的危险。实际上，为了能和她呆上一分钟，他将爬越世界上最高的山，他将游过最宽的河，他将赤手空拳进入最深的森林同最凶恶的野兽搏斗。
他写完了信，签上了名，突然，他想起忘了写一件挺重要的事。因此，他在信末签名后又补充道：“顺便说一下，我将在星期三晚上去看你--如果不下雨的话。”
5 哥伦布的电话号码/Columbus's Telephone Number
Little Mary: I find in my history book there is always such number (1451--1506) after the name Christopher Columbus. Would you please explain why, sir?
Little Rose: I can tell her, sir. It was Columbus's telephone number.
小玛丽：我在历史书中发现，克里斯托.哥伦布这个名字后老是有(1451-1506) 这几个数字，老师，请您给解释一下好吗?
小罗斯：老师，我能告诉她。那是哥伦布的电话号码。
6 加标点
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing".
The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
一个英语老师在书写板上写到：“女人没有她男人一无是处。”
然后老师要求学生们为这句话加上正确的标点。
男的写道：“女人，若没有男人，一无是处。”
女的写道：“女人!没有她，男人将一无是处。”
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