1 赌徒/The gambler
A gambler carried $1000 from home and went to casino. A few hours later, he came back. His wife asked him immediately: "Does that big note give birth to some children?"
"Yes, yes," the gambler took out two ten-dollar notes and said in a weeping tone, "unfortunately their mother died".
有个赌徒从家里拿了1千美金去赌博。几小时后，他回来了。他的妻子马上问他：“那张大票子生孩子没有？”
“生了，生了！”赌徒从衣袋里掏出两张10美元的钞票，用哭泣的语气说，“不幸的是，他们的母亲去世了。”
2 大街上的阴凉处/Shade in the street
It was a very hot day in the middle of summer, and there was no trees along the street.
Mr. Smith closed his shop at half past five, went out into the street and walked to the bus. He was very fat. The sun shone straight down the street and in a few minutes Mr. Smith felt very hot.
A small boy came out of another shop in the street, and went after Mr. Smith. He stayed very close to him all the time. And he kicked Mr. Smith's shoes a few times. Mr. Smith looked at him angrily each time.
After the fourth time. Mr. smith stopped, turned and said to the small boy, "What are you doing here? Stop going after me like that! You're going to hurt my feet."
"I'm sorry, but don't stop me, please!" the small boy said. "It is very hot today, and there isn't any shade anywhere else in the street!"
这是夏季中一个非常炎热的一天，大街两边没有一棵树。
史密斯先生下午五点半关闭了商店，来到大街上，向公共汽车走去。史密斯很胖，太阳火辣辣地照在大街上，不一会儿他就感到太热了。
一个小男孩从大街上另一家商店里出来，走在史密斯先生后面。这个小男孩一直紧跟着他，踢了史密斯先生的鞋子好几次。每次，史密斯都很愤怒地看他一眼。
被踢了四次后，史密斯先生停下来，转身对这个小男孩说：“你在这里干什么呀？别这样跟着我，你会踢伤我的脚的。”
“对不起，可是请别赶我走！”小男孩说道：“今天这么热，大街上别的地方又没有一点阴凉。”
3 日复一日/Day after day
A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up. He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him. After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the teacher said, "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today." "All right," said the teacher. "You translate and explain."
一位老师对所讲课文总是非常投入，从不抬头。他常让一个学生来翻译和解释，并且——不自觉地——他常日复一日地叫同一个学生。出于尊敬，学生并不给他指出这一点。一个叫古德伯格的学生，在被一连叫了四天之后，向他的朋友寻求建议。第二天，当这位老师说：“古德伯格，翻译并解释。”古德伯格回答说：“古德伯格今天不在。”“那好吧，”教师说，“那就你来翻译并解释。”
4 Sometimes It's Hard to Know When to Stop
An old man went to the doctor and began to pour out his problems. As the doctor asked more about what was the matter with him, the old man said, "Well Doc, after I get to the first, I'm very, very tired. After the second, I feel all in. After the third, my heart begins to pound. After the fourth, I break out in a cold sweat. And after the fifth, I'm so exhausted, I feel like I'm going to die, right then and there!"
"That's incredible," said the doctor, "but how old are you?"
"Eighty-five," the patient said. And the doctor said, "Well, at 85, why don't you stop at the first?"
The man said, "I can't stop, I live on the fifth floor!"
一个老人去看医生，滔滔地讲述他的问题。医生进一步询问他的症状，他说：“医生啊！我上第一层之后，感到非常非常累！上了第二层，觉得快不行了！到第三层，心跳加剧！到第四层，大冒冷汗！到第五层，筋疲力尽， 感觉当场就要死了！”
“真不可思议啊！”医生说：“你今年多大岁数了？”
“八十五”，病人说。医生说：“噢，八十五岁了！为什么你不一开始就停下来？”
老人回答：“我不能停下来，我住在第五层楼啊！”
5 你要不要等一会/Would you care to hold?
There I was, my first day on the Job as a receptionist, handling one phone call after another like an old pro, when an employee stopped by my desk. "Have you ever done this before?" she asked. "No," I said. "I thought not. You just told that caller, 'The person you want is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'"
作为公司的前台接待员，第一天上班时，我一个接着一个地接听电话，就象那些身经百战的老接待员一样。 当一个员工走过我的桌子时，她问，“你以前干过前台的活吗？” “没有”，我说。“我想你就没干过。 你刚才跟打电话来的人说，‘你想找的人休假去了。你要不要等一会？’”
6 你把所有的鱼都抓到了吗?/Ever catch all the fish?
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed.
However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair. There were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"
"You ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Yeah," the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch all the fish?"
有个男人在高速公路上超速了，因为夹杂在一群超速的车里，他感觉安全。
然而，当他们通过一个汽车超速监视区时，他被红外线扫描仪发现了，于是被迫停在路边。
交警过来给了他一张罚单，得到他的签名之后，正要离开，男人说道：“警官，我知道我超速了。但是我觉得这不公平。刚刚我周围还有很多车开得跟我一样快啊。为什么只有我得到罚单?”
“你钓过鱼吗?”警官突然问道，“当然”，吃惊的男人回答道。警官咧开嘴笑了，接着说，“你把所有的鱼都抓到了?”
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