Maple leaves on the wall 翻译自己写的 得分有了新高

Maple leaves on the wall

In the spring, you bid farewell to me for the north,
for the snow that has not melted yet.
Leave me facing the silent wall,
on which you painted flaming maple leaves
that cling to the twigs in the autumn wind.
You adjure me time and again-
Come to me,
when the maple leaves fall off the wall and cover your palms.

©  24 minutes ago, xx   love   

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Autorank: Total 7.9, professional similarity 5 (of 10), concrete vs abstract 2 (of 2), noun/verb/etc order 1 (of 1), too many capitalized -0.1 (of -1)

 

墙上的枫叶

 

春天里你告别我去北方

为了还没融化的雪

留下我面对无语的墙

你画满了火红的枫叶

在秋风里握紧树梢

你反复地叮嘱-

来找我吧

当墙上的枫叶落满你的手掌

所有跟帖： 

• 觉得虽然是诗的语言， 题目也应该是 maple leave painting on the wall -单亲妈- ♀ (218 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:14:56

• obviously a failed trickery, intended to be illogical here to in -颤音- ♂ (110 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:42:29

• 哈哈我开始以为是把枫树叶子摘下来贴墙上去呢。 -单亲妈- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:44:09

• 想起来小时候学的那篇小说了。大冬天去外面墙上画一片叶子讨女朋友高兴。结果感冒生病死了。 -greenoasis- ♀ (83 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:27:13

• 不是女朋友吧，就是一个画家老人为了救一个年轻女孩儿 -风悦-- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:29:00

• 好像你对。我记不清了 -greenoasis- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:37:23

• 啥名字？ 我找来读一下，just to affirm that I didn't plagiarize -颤音- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:43:58

• 真不记得了。而且是中文的语文课本里的课文。大概都没给出处 -greenoasis- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:50:07

• o henry的小说，The Last Leaf -风悦-- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 09:51:37

• 记忆力真好。 -179cm- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 10:03:18

• D～他的文章真是短小精悍寓意深远 -因子- ♀ (59 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 11:43:21

• 谢谢啊， 想起来了， 典型的 o'henry体 -颤音- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2019 postreply 10:06:12