I had similar situation as yours. However, the result is very different from yours now.
We were separated for a while, my hu*****and realized he still loves this family and his kids and eventually changed a lot.Now he said I love you much often than before.
If you still love your wife, just show her your love,not your hatred.
If you are hurt so badly, send your greetings to your wife and separate for a while, then decide what to do.
It is easy to hurt each other, but quite a challenge to show your love anymore.
Good Luck to your family!