The problem is that you are not getting it from your husband or your son (due to problems of their own.) And it's not likely to change.
So now you are focusing on these small (albiet important) things to justify to yourself the need to be appreciated.
To be appreciated is a natural human need.
What are the intrinsic values of what you are doing for them? You can be very proud of that. What you are doing is holding the family together. What can be more important than that? (not a rhetorical question, and only you can answer it.)
