Just learned pregnant but I'm troubled

来源: Cielo 于 2006-02-21 17:56:45 [] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 阅读数 : (2560 bytes)

I just learned that my prenancy test is positive. I should be happy but instead I want to cry. This is going to be my third child and my hu*****and is very abusive. He used to be very violent physically but after the police took him in when he yelled at the police, he learned he will be in trouble if he does that again in America. But he's still verbally abusive. Three months ago he almost broke my thumb and the ER doctor called police. I had to lie to them so he wouldn't be prosecuted. Today just because I didn't make dinner ready when he got home he yelled at me. I work fulltime and I am the main bread earner at home. I had to pick up both children this afternoon after work. I had to run a couple of errands such as picking up kindergarten registration paper work and ran two trips to pick up my older son since he didn't tell me he had an activity today. Then I had to talk to the doctor's office regarding my test and make appointments. Still I tried to wash and cut the vegetables. I made meat dish on weekends already and it only needs to be warmed up.

I really can't see why he became angry. I know he doesn't want to be responsible for this new baby. He was talking about going to China to do some business. He's always a big talker. How I wish he could leave us alone and go back to China. We talked about divorce several times. I even have my paperwork ready in a legal aid office(I paid them to do it last time we had a fight and he agreed to get $50,000 from me and let me have custody of the two children. He's a big loser. Worked in many restaurants but couldnt' stay long because of his personality. Finally went to school and get a Master's degree while staying at home all day. Now he's saying he has been sacraficing for me for ten years.

He's such a big liar. When I was came to US I worked at three different jobs at school to support myself. I got a fulltime job after one year and have been working since. I've been paying for the house and he wants me to sell the house so he can get half of it. He's a heartless person. He doesn't care about our 14 year old and 4 year old children at all.

Now I just feel so regretful of this pregnancy. I know a baby is a blessing from God but having a baby with this kind of hu*****and and father really disappoints me. What should I do? Should I go and ask the doctor to terminate this pregnancey? I hate doing that but thinking of letting another fragile life suffer with him is a big crime for me.

What should I do?

所有跟帖： 

• Just follow your heart and do not regret your decision. -Even- ♀ 给 Even 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 18:01:28

• Thanks.I'll think if over and won't rush. -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 18:59:59

• I'll try to be calm.He doesn't want the kids anyway -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (511 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 18:55:01

• Thanks. I'll obtain a restraining order if he goes to extremes -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (455 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:07:26

• Thanks. Too bad I petitioned a green card for him -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (445 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 18:59:14

• My goodness! he is such a jerk AND,dangerous! You should -茉莉妈妈- ♀ 给 茉莉妈妈 发送悄悄话 (50 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 19:01:47

• My heart aches whenver I think about the kids -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (445 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 20:27:44

• 无语,hug....还是觉得如果你丈夫的暴力如此影响到婚姻和孩子, -茉莉妈妈- ♀ 给 茉莉妈妈 发送悄悄话 (17 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 07:12:16

• Sounds like you are trapped in this whole thing -cline- ♀ 给 cline 发送悄悄话 (530 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 03:40:04

• I personally think that right now, your first priority is LEAVE -茉莉妈妈- ♀ 给 茉莉妈妈 发送悄悄话 (525 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 19:09:45

• 如果经济和精力允许,就要这个孩子, 否则... -总裁- ♀ 给 总裁 发送悄悄话 (65 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 19:14:19

• 我还是劝合不劝分,老公成这样肯定双方都有责任,退一步海阔天空 -whiteoak1234- ♀ 给 whiteoak1234 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 19:34:45

• Thanks for your sympathy and suggestions. -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (466 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 20:55:25

• 这个不敢苟同,很多例子里都是丈夫的狂燥个性甚至威及 -jade2003- ♀ 给 jade2003 发送悄悄话 (144 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 19:53:00

• 我觉得这是个坑, LZ已经跑了 -whiteoak1234- ♀ 给 whiteoak1234 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 19:56:49

• 是不是坑,都痛恨这种变态的混账丈夫. -Jade2003- ♀ 给 Jade2003 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 20:02:04

• It's not a 坑. It just happend a couple of hours ago -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (758 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 20:10:52

• When we argued this afternoon my baby said"Mom, -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (314 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 20:30:24

• 不敢相信,如果LZ说的是真实发生的事, 我就要破口大骂了, -whiteoak1234- ♀ 给 whiteoak1234 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:07:06

• Don't破口大骂 or you'll look like my husband. -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:09:46

• 哈哈，破口大骂也无济于事。觉得你的疑问有道理：） -有言- ♂ 给 有言 发送悄悄话 有言 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:11:10

• 人命关天的了，破口大骂管什么用？ -study- ♀ 给 study 发送悄悄话 (32 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:30:54

• 哎,可怜的妈妈和孩子,眼泪都要下来了... -茉莉妈妈- ♀ 给 茉莉妈妈 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 07:35:29

• 你真的应该考虑尽快离开他了,找一个好的律师,best wishes! -茉莉妈妈- ♀ 给 茉莉妈妈 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 07:46:22

• 现在从过去的错误中走出来还为时不晚,就是不要再犹豫了. -jade2003- ♀ 给 jade2003 发送悄悄话 (43 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 07:48:42

• Help him even after a divorce:) -有言- ♂ 给 有言 发送悄悄话 有言 的博客首页 (220 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:06:58

• I've tried all these years to help him ever since I -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (1637 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:24:16

• very touching story from you, keep both:) -有言- ♂ 给 有言 发送悄悄话 有言 的博客首页 (613 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:39:38

• 关于没有办wedding，和对方家长结婚时没给多少钱 -会说谎的口红- ♀ 给 会说谎的口红 发送悄悄话 (255 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:47:12

• Literally I was thinking back about Suzhou. All right -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (184 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 22:02:43

• 不要再抱幻想了 -study- ♀ 给 study 发送悄悄话 (119 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:13:20

• Thanks. Do you really think I need a lawyer? -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (1193 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:40:34

• 我有朋友几年前在CA离婚，老公也是domestic abuse -会说谎的口红- ♀ 给 会说谎的口红 发送悄悄话 (73 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 21:53:29

• 回复：Just learned pregnant but I'm troubled -亮亮妈妈- ♀ 给 亮亮妈妈 发送悄悄话 亮亮妈妈 的博客首页 (512 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 22:09:43

• Thanks. I asked him before and he wanted me to -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (245 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 22:13:14

• 回复：Thanks. I asked him before and he wanted me to -亮亮妈妈- ♀ 给 亮亮妈妈 发送悄悄话 亮亮妈妈 的博客首页 (263 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 22:19:19

• Thanks.I'll pray too. I'll protect kids and I. -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 22:26:25

• Thanks everybody for your emotional support -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (127 bytes) () 02/21/2006 postreply 22:45:19

• A man can be as cruel as this. Good thing for me is -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (401 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 08:28:15

• 象他这样一再动手，事情反而容易。 -cline- ♀ 给 cline 发送悄悄话 (276 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 03:36:39

• 到底真的假的啊？ -cline- ♀ 给 cline 发送悄悄话 (132 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 06:20:52

• It's true.Not for fun.I'm an undecisive person. -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 08:35:42

• I can support the baby financially but it just means -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (708 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 08:34:38

• 战略上要坚决，战术上要委婉 -家园- ♀ 给 家园 发送悄悄话 (217 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 07:34:56

• Thanks.Your suggest is really useful dealing with him -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 08:37:02

• 同情你 -popeyefish- ♀ 给 popeyefish 发送悄悄话 (66 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 08:27:32

• Thanks. He IS a very selfish person. -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (155 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 08:39:02

• 长痛不如短痛 -雨儿- ♀ 给 雨儿 发送悄悄话 (246 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 16:18:07

• My 4 year old say he loves us both. My 14 year old -Cielo- ♀ 给 Cielo 发送悄悄话 (940 bytes) () 02/22/2006 postreply 20:49:04

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