[Note: Not to set off an undue alarm on those who truly care about 画蛇’s wellbeing, due to the nature of the following piece, 画蛇 has been provided a courtesy advance copy of the text, and she perfectly understands that this is a humor piece written to illustrate a writing concept, and has given her unreserved blessing for posting it here.]
As the saying goes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Similarly, we are admonished: find a job you love and you will never have to work a single day. How nice!
I have been brought up believing that one should not rely much on luck in life, and I have never really had high hopes of ever landing a job that would make me feel work is play. In fewer than a handful jobs I have taken so far, all that I have managed to do is, wherever practical, making work as entertaining and pleasant as possible. It is with this attitude towards work that I have survived the nine-to-five grind without falling victim to the modern-day work-as-imprisonment entrapment.
“Still, lucky you!” some might say. “Not every one is lucky enough to get in at nine and get off at five.”
Fair enough. But that charge really missed my point. What I am saying is that with every mundane chore we are yoked under in our miserable existence, there are some means we can avail ourselves of to lighten our sense of burden and boredom. Take the example of polishing our English as a second language. From first-hand experience, we all know that writing in a second language is hard, and the axiom “practice makes perfect” does not make it any easier.
As a way-out, I propose turning the chore on its head and having some fun while completing the chore. A case in point: earlier today I accepted 画蛇’s challenge to pen a humor piece to settle a score between the two of us, and the following piece is what I came up with:
Top Ten Reasons Why I Don’t Like 画蛇
10. She is slick – By her trademark sleight of hand, she pulled off her stunning act of stealing 含娜‘s sympathy from me.
9. She is witchy – So much so that, with one singular stir in her witch’s brew, she managed to effectively declare herself the winner in the 澳洲老土-proposed composition contest, without even entering the contest.
8. She is smooth – Whatever her profession is in her present life, she would be ten times as successful in her next incarnation as a used car saleslady if she is inclined to be one; and I confess, I am yet to fully recover from the trauma I suffered at the hands of a used car saleslady more than ten years ago.
7. She is foxy – From what I can tell, she is not one who would shy away from scoring a point by deploying her charms of the fairer sex; and my dad always warns me against falling into the traps of a bewitching female.
6. She is wily – She is clearly cleverer than I; she openly called me a quack in her WXC-debuting play, 职场 One-Act Play, Romeo and Juliet, and got away scot-free. If you have not noticed already, you certainly know by now: I am highly competitive in spirit, and being a grateful loser is not one of my few virtues – I have been plotting a way to pay her back ever since and I am yet to have any measurable success. (Need I remind the rest of the poor souls of the indignity we collectively suffered in what I would only call an infamous play of hers? MDQ100 – judging from his no-show here for some time, he has probably checked into some kind of a rehab facility to help him deal with the blow the self-indulging playwright dealt to his ego; JIUMAJIA – as far as can I fathom, she has practically disappeared from WXC; WHARTONMBA – okay, he may be the only exception, likely thanks to his custom-made three-piece suit, which usually can be expected to provide decent cover for any imaginable psychological assault.)
5. She is cunning – She once owned up that she has spent her fair share of time at school to earn her credentials; so have I. Yet, from all appearances, she is the happier of the two of us, and the thought that she seems to be the proverbial overachiever while I am doomed to be an underachiever cannot help souring my mood whenever I dwell on it a few seconds too long.
4. She is tricky – Anyone wondering why I am slaving away to put together this piece while she is, in all likelihood, sunbathing on some primitive beach, smirking inwardly that once again, she had me beaten effortlessly? All she did was graciously issuing another one of her “challenges.”
3. She is crafty – Skillful, I mean. She allegedly gets most of her writing done at one sitting, while I have to write, rewrite, and more often than not, rewrite again. At merely thinking of this, I could not help pitying myself.
2. She is artful – She almost always wins, and the loser is supposed to remain quiet, just to avoid the fate of ending up losing twice.
1. (Drumroll, please!) She is sly – four words: Her name is 画蛇.
As the saying goes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Similarly, we are admonished: find a job you love and you will never have to work a single day. How nice!
I have been brought up believing that one should not rely much on luck in life, and I have never really had high hopes of ever landing a job that would make me feel work is play. In fewer than a handful jobs I have taken so far, all that I have managed to do is, wherever practical, making work as entertaining and pleasant as possible. It is with this attitude towards work that I have survived the nine-to-five grind without falling victim to the modern-day work-as-imprisonment entrapment.
“Still, lucky you!” some might say. “Not every one is lucky enough to get in at nine and get off at five.”
Fair enough. But that charge really missed my point. What I am saying is that with every mundane chore we are yoked under in our miserable existence, there are some means we can avail ourselves of to lighten our sense of burden and boredom. Take the example of polishing our English as a second language. From first-hand experience, we all know that writing in a second language is hard, and the axiom “practice makes perfect” does not make it any easier.
As a way-out, I propose turning the chore on its head and having some fun while completing the chore. A case in point: earlier today I accepted 画蛇’s challenge to pen a humor piece to settle a score between the two of us, and the following piece is what I came up with:
Top Ten Reasons Why I Don’t Like 画蛇
10. She is slick – By her trademark sleight of hand, she pulled off her stunning act of stealing 含娜‘s sympathy from me.
9. She is witchy – So much so that, with one singular stir in her witch’s brew, she managed to effectively declare herself the winner in the 澳洲老土-proposed composition contest, without even entering the contest.
8. She is smooth – Whatever her profession is in her present life, she would be ten times as successful in her next incarnation as a used car saleslady if she is inclined to be one; and I confess, I am yet to fully recover from the trauma I suffered at the hands of a used car saleslady more than ten years ago.
7. She is foxy – From what I can tell, she is not one who would shy away from scoring a point by deploying her charms of the fairer sex; and my dad always warns me against falling into the traps of a bewitching female.
6. She is wily – She is clearly cleverer than I; she openly called me a quack in her WXC-debuting play, 职场 One-Act Play, Romeo and Juliet, and got away scot-free. If you have not noticed already, you certainly know by now: I am highly competitive in spirit, and being a grateful loser is not one of my few virtues – I have been plotting a way to pay her back ever since and I am yet to have any measurable success. (Need I remind the rest of the poor souls of the indignity we collectively suffered in what I would only call an infamous play of hers? MDQ100 – judging from his no-show here for some time, he has probably checked into some kind of a rehab facility to help him deal with the blow the self-indulging playwright dealt to his ego; JIUMAJIA – as far as can I fathom, she has practically disappeared from WXC; WHARTONMBA – okay, he may be the only exception, likely thanks to his custom-made three-piece suit, which usually can be expected to provide decent cover for any imaginable psychological assault.)
5. She is cunning – She once owned up that she has spent her fair share of time at school to earn her credentials; so have I. Yet, from all appearances, she is the happier of the two of us, and the thought that she seems to be the proverbial overachiever while I am doomed to be an underachiever cannot help souring my mood whenever I dwell on it a few seconds too long.
4. She is tricky – Anyone wondering why I am slaving away to put together this piece while she is, in all likelihood, sunbathing on some primitive beach, smirking inwardly that once again, she had me beaten effortlessly? All she did was graciously issuing another one of her “challenges.”
3. She is crafty – Skillful, I mean. She allegedly gets most of her writing done at one sitting, while I have to write, rewrite, and more often than not, rewrite again. At merely thinking of this, I could not help pitying myself.
2. She is artful – She almost always wins, and the loser is supposed to remain quiet, just to avoid the fate of ending up losing twice.
1. (Drumroll, please!) She is sly – four words: Her name is 画蛇.
