试译 Because I could not stop for Death

因为我无法为死神止步
艾米莉·迪金森
试译：jianshen

因为我无法为死神止步
他于是友善地为我伫足
马车只载着我俩
和永生

我们缓缓而行 —— 他不急着赶路
我因此抛开
劳作和闲暇
回应他的礼遇

我们驶过学校，那里正是课间休息
孩童们在操场上嬉闹
我们驶过田野，麦穗抬头凝视
我们驶过落日

抑或 —— 落日途经我们
寒露袭来，我瑟瑟发抖
因为我身着蛛丝般的长袍
我的披肩薄如轻纱 

我们在一座屋前停下
那屋子看似鼓起的地面
屋顶模模糊糊
屋檐埋在地下 

自那时，几个世纪已过
却仿佛比一天还短  （恍如昨日）
我一开始就预料，死神之车的马头
朝向永恒

Because I could not stop for Death
by Emily Dickinson

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –
We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed Us –
The Dews drew quivering and Chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity –

所有跟帖： 

• 沙发。欢迎新朋友。。。：） -尘凡无忧- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 15:12:35

• +2 -nearby- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 17:08:22

• 赞美译。：）这首诗的最后一段，我赞同忒绿的理解。。。 -尘凡无忧- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 15:14:06

• 多谢版主！我固执己见，因最后一段是回应第一段与死神初遇。Eternity 对应 Immortality。 -jianshen- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 16:16:41

• +2 -nearby- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 18:03:11

• 第三个HE是落日，理解独特，very interesting -忒忒绿- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 15:46:00

• 代词指代前面的名词，所以第四段 He指 the Setting Sun。这段指落日之后的暗夜，暗喻死亡濒临。 -jianshen- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 16:12:21

• 而第一段He 指Death， 因"He" is right after "Death" -jianshen- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 16:14:12

• 解释得也很好 -nearby- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 17:08:51

• 翻译得很妙！小k、冯兄、王兄、绿绿，都请快来欣赏评论，你们是专家 -nearby- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 17:08:10

• 多谢版主鼓励！版主们辛苦了。 -jianshen- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 18:05:06

• 希望常来发帖 -nearby- ♂ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 19:07:12

• 厉害，没上论坛首页就这么多点击了。。。：） -尘凡无忧- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 19:25:18

• 翻译得很棒！同意你对he 的理解，赞！ -甜虫虫- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 19:25:47

• I appreciate your "sweet" encouragement! 并谢二位版主楼上留言。 -jianshen- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/24/2022 postreply 20:09:29

• 赞！可能你对原句的理解最为准确，中间he指落日最make sense, totally agree最后一段(倒2段坟冢 -EuphoriaF- ♀ (135 bytes) () 09/25/2022 postreply 06:58:35

• 谢鼓励，千人千译。解得好！马车里死神与永生相伴The ending ties back to the beginning -jianshen- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/25/2022 postreply 09:26:17