情商最低的行为，就是不停地讲道理（1）

来源: 废话多多于 2019-06-22 04:17:15 [档案] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读：次 (4743 bytes)

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微信上有个网站 “拾遗” 主要功能是卖东西，有时也能转卖一锅可口的鸡汤。读过《我见过情商最低的行为，就是不停地讲道理》的帖子，进一步证实了我网名的正确性。

但明白道理是一回事，改变行动又是一回事。楼下有位placidworld （PW）同学的帖子 https://bbs.wenxuecity.com/career/562578.html，大意是：PW 同学活儿多，公司派了个人给她帮忙，这位同事擅长帮倒忙，而且态度恶劣，一张嘴不是挑错就是乱嚷嚷。不巧的是PW 同学的头儿休假去了，她对付不了这位同事，上网求助。众同学跟了很多好贴。PW 接着发第二贴求助，其实主意在第一次的跟贴中都说了，读了第二贴，还是忍不住地要接着出主意，低一次情商。

希望情商低了一次后能吃块巧克力补回来，要不咱职坛迟早会有个情商为0的版主，传出去会让城里人笑掉大牙。

第二贴原帖： New update 1: what happened today

I was wrong. I thought he would back off. But afer one night, it sounds like he got new energy or whatever. He called me 5 minutes before one big meeting regarding to one email I responded - thanks for the person who tried to help and would follow up with the contact he shared with. He was angry at me for sending this email for God knows reason. After listening to his screaming for minutes, I found out that I was late for a project meeting, so I started the remote conference app while I was trying to tell him that I would recall the email if he did not like it. He kept screaming at me with very disrespectful words, harrassing tones, then entire meeting group heard the roaring - PM, Deliveries, Compliance, Marketers. I tried to soothe him but he wouldn't listen, people on the meeting over the conference call had to start talking loudly to me or ping me. Immediately, a lot people started texting to the PM that this was unacceptable and nonprofessional. The PM leader is willing to talk to him, but I knew he would revenge more. I told her I would like her to let our director know what's going on. He not just screamed at me, also purposely stop the progress of my projects, or demanded the business to change requests because he CAN'T handle even we had meeting before he was involved and we knew it was doable.

重复一次废过的话：同事不会停止现在的作为，PW同学也改不了他的为人处事。

说句招人不待见的话：PW处理问题的方式，助长了同事的行为。比如，PW发了个邮件，同事发怒。PW则说如果他不高兴，PW收回原来的邮件。这和律师们在法庭上常用的方法相仿，叙述某个事实，对方反对，法官说这个事实不该叙述，不算数。但说出去的话，泼出去的水，不管算数不算数，陪审团已经听到了，起到了作用。邮件送出去了，不管收回不收回，已经成为既成事实。如果邮件不该发，那就真诚道歉，保证以后这种事不再发生。如果该发，PW是负责人，给谁发邮件是她的决定，谁爱高兴不高兴。

同事嚷嚷，如果不是约好的时间，可以马上说：对不起，我在两分钟内有个会，我得走了。如果是约好的时间，可以说，你现在情绪激动，我们现在谈下去解决不了问题，我给你一段时间平静一下，10 （20， 30 。。。）分钟之后我给你打过去。如果10分钟之后打过去他接着嚷嚷，可以说：看来电话沟通解决不了问题，你给我发邮件吧。说完之后不必等他同意，客客气气说一句祝好的的话就挂电话。

办公室里用语言占上风是常事。聪明的人用一个两个词就可以把对方怼的有苦难言，PW的同事还算傻，大声嚷嚷，用词恶劣，别人一听就是他没理。但别人听了说他没理，解决不了PW的问题，无论是找上级还是找人事，只要不解聘他，最后还是要自己解决问题。如果对这位同事的语言暴力不敢/不会回击，希望上级或人事解决问题，也不过是暂时顶用。

建议PW同学写个简单的邮件向头儿汇报一下和这位同事的矛盾，尤其是决定与上级和人事谈话时。

题外的话：PW同学在与同事交谈时同时上网开会，所以同事的行为众人皆知，大家都谴责同事行为不当。然而，不知把同事放到放到会议中他知道不知道，如果不知道，他可以借此倒打一耙。