请帮忙修改我的回信我会告知结果的

I am not working now, leaving my last position with Company A couple weeks ago. I want to come back to B company, where I have worked for 7 years. 

The company recruiter and the hiring manager have concerns that I am over qualifed for the position. They have asked me a letter to adress it and why they should hire me. Please help me to address it: how to make the sale and sound professional.Also,I have long term committment. 

My e-mail:

If you compare my qualifications with the job requirements, you and the hiring manager would agree that that I am almost a perfect match for this position. I have the right skill sets, analytical skills, presentation skills, and multi-tasking skills. Also, I have years of experience in xxx industry. In addition, I am a good team player. Last, I have proven track records with B company.

I understand that this job doesn’tt require xxx. I understand your comment regarding the over qualification. I would like to share why I am applying for this position:

1. My last position was xxx when I worked for B Company, same job grade as this one.

2. I would like to come back to work for B company. I have targeted B Company as the place where I want to spend my career, which is congenial and better structured.

3. I always look for an opportunity to work for xxx department, which especially utilize my strengths, analytical skill and multi-tasking skill. My last position was xxx. With the increased regulatory scrutiny, I don’t find the xxx work as interesting as I once did. This position has nothing/little to do with regulatory stuff. I think the job I am applying for now is very interesting, finding ways to improve the bottom line.

4. I want to do a sector switch. My past experience was mainly for Commercial business. Baby Boomers are about to create a record population explosion in Medicare, I believe which is a fast growing field for the next 30 years.

5. It is a telecommuting position. So I don’t need to relocate.

If I may say, I wouldn’t call it over qualified. I would call it a good deal.

所有跟帖: 

要改的地方太多了,我时间有限,试改一下第一段。。。 -我边走边问- 给 我边走边问 发送悄悄话 我边走边问 的博客首页 (2262 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 08:41:07

用词方面还可以再细点,让别人给你指点一下,这里有的是高手,热心人。。。 -我边走边问- 给 我边走边问 发送悄悄话 我边走边问 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 08:52:56

多谢指点,希望其他高人和热心人帮忙看一看,书到用时方恨少 -展望2012- 给 展望2012 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 09:11:10

这样的回信,显然是没有正确的指导思想 -胡说之- 给 胡说之 发送悄悄话 胡说之 的博客首页 (773 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 09:10:09

修改了回复,请大家务必知道修改 -展望2012- 给 展望2012 发送悄悄话 (1408 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 09:45:58

After reading "Being over qualified is a very subjective", -wave_forest- 给 wave_forest 发送悄悄话 wave_forest 的博客首页 (68 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 09:55:36

That's right. More proofread is absolutely needed, wording, stru -胡说之- 给 胡说之 发送悄悄话 胡说之 的博客首页 (810 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 10:16:44

回复:修改了回复,请大家务必知道修改 -灰衣人- 给 灰衣人 发送悄悄话 灰衣人 的博客首页 (3830 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 10:44:52

要想一妹儿看着好,今晚一定来听胡指导。 -美国老土- 给 美国老土 发送悄悄话 美国老土 的博客首页 (516 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 10:45:53

姐姐你听我说 -大写2- 给 大写2 发送悄悄话 (551 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 11:19:47

说的多好 -胡说之- 给 胡说之 发送悄悄话 胡说之 的博客首页 (55 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 12:10:45

给我们职坛四大文艺青年长脸。要求置顶。 -眼冒金星- 给 眼冒金星 发送悄悄话 眼冒金星 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 13:10:11

多谢大家回复修改,欢迎继续提宝贵意见,计划明天回复,今晚再琢磨 -展望2012- 给 展望2012 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 11/09/2011 postreply 13:51:48

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