ZT（关于跳级） by 芦苇草

Base on my personal experience, I wouldn't recommend Skipping grade to any child.

Sorry that I am writing this in English, am really slow typing Chinese using Google PinYin.

I was born in the middle of Culture Revolution, my dad was an Intellectual and Mom was an Elementary teacher. They really believed in early education and self learning, early they did, I started Math, Chinese, Violin when I was 4.5, my dad assigned me homework every day, if I could not finish it, he would get upset. He thought going school was waste of time.

I was 5.5 when I got enrolled in Elementary school, because of the culture revolution movement, my dad poured all his energy into teaching me in the evenings, so by the time I was in 1 grade, i was already learning 3rd grade level Math and Chinese, they talked with School and I was taking exams to skip to 2nd grade, because my score was right below 85, so I didn't succeed in the first try. By the time it was the end of 2nd grade, I tried again, this time I was skipping right to 5th grade since I was already learn Algebra middle school level. I succeeded, skipping 3rd and 4th grade.

I even got into a distinguished middle school.It was not easy since the competition was fierce.

Everyone thought I was ready, I was the "good and happy daughter", letting them to push me forward. In reality, I was a very sensitive child and felt torture inside which I didn't realize or admit until recent couple of years as I am approaching 40 and finally caught up with my true emotions. Back then, everyone was praising how smart I was, I was happy to hear that, and my parent of course was very proud of me.

Things started to change in 8th grade，my dad went abroad for a year, during that one year he was absent, my grades started to drop. I was never an independent learner, whatever I learned, my dad taught me.

For the rest of my middle/high school years,I could follow the study, but it was a struggle.

In term of emotion and social skills, on the one hand, I was forced to mature really quickly, on the other hand, the reality was that I was 2, or 3 years younger than my classmates. Sure, students and teachers were all nice to me. They all thought I was cute, gave me all kind of compliment nicknames, and special attention. I thought I really enjoyed the praises and attention. But in daily dealings,there were countless events that put me in awkward situations, things I had said, things my peers said to me unintentionally etc. Certain understanding and dealing with emotion/social skills only come with the age no matter how quickly a person "matures".

There are so many things I could tell, but I will save some time by saying this:

Now looking back, skipping grade definitely did more damage (in so many ways) than good. My mom very much regretted the skipping decision, but my dad insisted it was an absolute right decision even to this day, he doesn't want to admit his mistake since we cannot turn the clock back.

Now I am at an age that I don't really care about how "smart" I am to others, how "successful" I am to others, how proud my parents would be, I can finally face my own pain. In fact, I am no longer in contact with my dad because he doesn't even have the courage to say "sorry".

A parent doesn't have the right to say this is an absolutely right decision for a child.

In my family, my sister went school one year early, it also did lots of damage (yes, I am using this word "Damage"). My brother had a normal childhood and schooling, so he is doing fine.

We are dealing with a child, their whole life could change because of our decision. Ask ourselves, what we want for our child? All of you probably knows the answer:
be happy and healthy.

But remember, Happiness is not defined by others people's praises, how early they graduate, what profession they will be in and how much money they have!
At the end, Happiness is a feeling. It is how our child feel inside! and how they feel when they grow up.

所有跟帖： 

• I hear you. I understand you. I agree with you. -ncpga- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 17:15:16

• Deeply moved. -盘石过江- ♂ (142 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 17:20:28

• While I want to sympathize with you, I am reminded of -ibelieu- ♂ (908 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 18:27:59

• She has not felt happy. And she knows the reason. -baydad- ♂ (167 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 18:34:13

• If we all know the real cause of our misery, why do we need -ibelieu- ♂ (948 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:10:58

• I don't have the time. You should do your research by yourself. -baydad- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:14:02

• Then why did you open your mouth in the first place? -ibelieu- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:32:38

• 回复：While I want to sympathize with you, I am reminded of -芦苇草- ♀ (1110 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:23:54

• Please, you've put a ton of words in my mouth. All I'm saying -ibelieu- ♂ (270 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:31:22

• 回复：Please, you've put a ton of words in my mouth. All I'm sayin -芦苇草- ♀ (321 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:41:53

• Oh really? You'd be half convincing if you believed your own wo -ibelieu- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:59:05

• she is a pusher. -ncpga- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 20:19:33

• 回复：回复：While I want to sympathize with you, I am reminded of -itistrue- ♀ (786 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 20:10:12

• 同意，这么大的人还为这点小时候的事斤斤计较，还不理父母说明本人有问题 -jojokitchen- ♀ (110 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 20:55:06

• It is difficult to decide which is the cause, right? -N.- ♀ (183 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 21:20:48

• 很遗憾，　这是典型最不适合跳级的例子 -事事随缘- ♀ (328 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 18:42:09

• 同感！不是所有孩子都应该跳，也不是所有孩子都不应该跳。 -就不留名了吧- ♀ (44 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:18:20

• 赞成正反例子都有，因人而异，还是要从多方面评估，不能单单看学习。 -家园- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 19:28:24

• 理解这位Dad, 毕生精力栽培儿女 -overfeed- ♂ (338 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 20:41:27

• 跳级 is the outcome, not the substance -Abemom- ♀ (411 bytes) () 12/18/2008 postreply 22:15:01