I have been feeling so ashamed for feeling remote to my own mom. She is very similar to your mom, bullying and bad temper and would yell at us rather than reasonably talking. A lot of complaints and wouldn't say any soft and appreciating words whatever we do for her. All these are unpleasant enough, but the worst thing is her pursuit for money, companied with her sense of pride (that is, though she likes money, nobody should say so otherwise she is hurt). She asked me to give financial support to my brother's luxury wedding and new house, but didn't allow me to have my own wedding ceremony saying that it is a waste of money. For that, she scolded me not only once but several times, and we got married for $100. That event did leave a bad scar in my heart. Then, she wouldn't appreciate that, but whenever in front of my colleagues and friends, even if just first time met, she claimed that how much financial support she gave to her offsprings for them to get married and buy houses. I sent her $4-5K every year, still she complained that compared with other families, she is poor, so that I have to ask "look, mom, what do you mean you are poor? You have at lease a few tens $K in saving and over 1500 yuan every month as pension; what do you mean you are poor? Are you willing to compare with millions who lost their job mid-age with 3-generation family to support?"
Ultimately I concluded that it is perhaps not her fault; I hate communist education on people like her: they are deprived of the sense of family love, forget how to express affection. 10 yrs ago, my parents feel they gained face by bringing up university graduates children, but time has changed, she now feels that being rich gains more face. People say once one becomes a mother, she understand much better her parents. To be honest, I just feel the opposite, I just cannot understand how a mom treats her children like this.
