For fun - NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS


CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the hu*****and gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. (It was difficult to find in my Thesaurus ...)

所有跟帖： 

• ha, ha, very funny:) -笑xixi- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/14/2008 postreply 12:34:44

• 小队长的鼻子怎么样了？　:-) -笛笛- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/14/2008 postreply 13:47:22

• 你吓我一跳：-）小队长退休了。又变得光滑水灵了。谢谢惦记着。 -洋葱头儿妈妈- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/14/2008 postreply 14:20:49