里尔克诗译：我在这个世界上太过孤独- I am Much Too Alone in This World

来源: cxyz 于 2022-05-09 18:50:59 [档案] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读：次 (15266 bytes)

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我在这个世界上太过孤独

我在这个世界上太过孤独，但是还没有足够孤独

可以真正地奉献出自己的每一分每一秒

我在这个世界上太过渺小，但是还没有足够渺小

可以像事物一样呈现在你面前隐秘又精明

我想要我的自由意志想让它陪伴我

走过那条引领行动的生命之路

我希望在疑难丛生之际

困惑顿起之时

知道什么将会发生

否则我将只会是孤单一人

我想要把你的形象反映到极致

永远不会盲目或者衰老

能够撑起你那厚重的飘忽不定的映像

我想要把自己打开

我不希望自己有任何的折叠和扭曲

因为那样我将不诚实不真实

我希望我的认知在你的面前是真实的

我希望这样描述自己就像描述一幅画

长时间地近距离地观察着的一幅画：

像终于理解并且接受的一句话

像每天用着的水杯

像母亲的脸

像是一艘前进的船安全地承载着我

通过那最致命的风暴

～～～～～～～

译者语：

和里尔克的很多诗作一样，这首也不是一首好理解很直接的诗歌。好在这首比较出名，我在网上找到了几个版本的英文译文和英文的诗歌解析。解析文章的作者大都认为这是在讲述作者自己和爱人之间的关系，说的是靠近爱人和保持自我之间的矛盾。我不这么看。我不认为诗中的 “你” 是指恋人，做恋人解有些地方不通（比如说事物），这里的“你”我认为是指 “造物主”，生物宇宙的主宰。博友EuphoriaF在一篇博文中说 “诗人里尔克旅行的时候，圣经是他随身带的两本书之一”，这让人以为里尔克是基督教徒，可是里尔克说过他自己绝对不是一个基督教徒。我觉得我可以理解这一点，因为他心中的“主”不是耶稣，那是超越耶稣基督的大全世界的主宰，是 "天地万物运行的力量”（《我找到了你，主啊，在万物之中》 https://blog.wenxuecity.com/myblog/68411/202111/30189.html）。这首诗，写的是一个人作为大全世界的一个部分（非独立个体），顺命从运，和一个人作为独立个体的自由意志之间的矛盾。这首诗跟他的另一首诗《莲》（https://blog.wenxuecity.com/myblog/68411/201706/32141.html）有异曲同工之妙：

“你的整个生命是你自己的但正是说这话之人
会把我从我生命的无穷尽剥离 ”

“我无欲无求我随波而动

在随波逐流之中我充盈完善着自己的王国”。

～～～～～～～～～

I am Much Too Alone in this World

I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone

enough

to truly consecrate the hour.

I am much too small in this world, yet not small

enough

to be to you just object and thing,

dark and smart.

I want my free will and want it accompanying

the path which leads to action;

and want during times that beg questions,

where something is up,

to be among those in the know,

or else be alone.

I want to mirror your image to its fullest perfection,

never be blind or too old

to uphold your weighty wavering reflection.

I want to unfold.

Nowhere I wish to stay crooked, bent;

for there I would be dishonest, untrue.

I want my conscience to be

true before you;

want to describe myself like a picture I observed

for a long time, one close up,

like a new word I learned and embraced,

like the everyday jug,

like my mother's face,

like a ship that carried me along

through the deadliest storm.

--- Rainer Maria Rilke (trans. by Annemarie S. Kidder)

I am Much too Alone in This World

I am too alone in the world, and not alone enough
to make every minute holy.
I am too tiny in this world, and not tiny enough
just to lie before you like a thing,
shrewd and secretive.
I want my own will, and I want simply to be with my will,
as it goes toward action,
and in the silent, sometimes hardly moving times
when something is coming near,
I want to be with those who know secret things
or else alone.
I want to be a mirror for your whole body,
and I never want to be blind, or to be too old
to hold up your heavy and swaying picture.
I want to unfold.
I don’t want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.
And I want my grasp of things
true before you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I looked at
closely for a long time,
like a saying that I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that took me safely
through the wildest storm of all.