Should validate your self, rather than needing others to validate you.
When you need others to validate your self-worth, it's a magnet for those with narcissistic personality traits, who see others as an extension of themselves to be used and manipulated. That's the situation you find yourself in.
From now on, whenever you feel the urge to be helpful, tell yourself, it's not they need my help, it's I need their approval. That urge is a reflex, conditioned in childhood. How can it be good if your childhood circumstances are still affecting your behavior today?
It's not easy to change since it has been ingrained as part of you. But realizing you have been paying a price for it, you might be motivated to do something about it. To change is to grow.
Empathy is a good thing, to a point. Without it, we'd be still cheering at the Colosseum. Too much of it, one needs to ask, am I self-serving?
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