By showing up at work, you already accepted it.

 

Telling yourself otherwise places yourself in an untenable position.

 

It seems that you need to establish some boundaries *IN YOUR* mind.

Boundaries that define you. When he loudly gave you orders, what he was doing is to invalidate you.  Since you don't have a boundary there to block his incursion, your self-worth suffered damage.  To establish a boundary here, do not allow him, or anyone else, to determine your self-worth. You know that you are a decent person, you treat others with kindness, you are competent for the job you do.  Your firm belief in yourself does not need to be reflected by anyone else's treatment of you.

Once you have that, you wouldn't need to critique his competence or character, because you'd respect the boundaries that define him. (Your critiquing of him, even only in your own mind, places a tremendous undue burden on you and opens yourself up for attack because he sees no boundaries in between you and him.)

 

* Emphasis intended *

 

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Well said. 内心的强大和界限感,still long way to go -rubia- 给 rubia 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 06/19/2022 postreply 09:42:08

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