"What happened? Why did she do it? Did you over-react? Can we resolve this quietly without getting the situation out of hand?" Those are very normal reaction.
所以楼下叫你别多说很耽误事,HR什么都不知道怎么介入?你的目的不是打击你的同事,而是解决问题。你应该讲述你理解的事情起因,她有敌意,或者她情绪不稳,以前是否有类似情况 ... 如果和她当面谈你不comfortable,你也应该直接说。你更多的是询问这种情况你该怎么处理,而不是简单"找老师告状,要老师主持公道" ...