回复:我该怎么办?

It's hard to change other people, then change yourself: be straightforward, but not offensive. Don't assume. Regarding leaving the door open or closed, ask her directly.

她平时抱怨,一到上面就不说话了,然后看到昨天老板对我批评她一句话不说,下来后也沉默

Well, maybe you expect too much, I think.

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