When you focus on his faults or shortcomings,

 

you may be actually relieving your own anxiety caused by your own sense of inadequacy.

He may feel that there's no way to win, because you can always find something not upto your standard.

Instead of continuing a losing battle, his emotion comes to the rescue to fight the battle for him.

 

Cherish your child, not many years left.  Go out for an ice cream together.  After he goes to college, all that is left are the memories.

Praise yourself more often in front of your family, if no one else is doing it.

When criticize, start by affirming what he did right.  Do not blame him.  Do not shame him.  Do not cast doubt on his intelligence.  Just address the issue.

Do not say something just to relieve yourself that sense of burden, it wouldn't come out right.  Say it because it helps.

Have him think about things that are bigger than himself.