I went through similar process a number of years back. Here are a few things to consider:
1. what you need to cover. Say your unpaid mortgage(a), certain amount for children's education(b), and some money for spouse, just in case (c), then you need a total of a+b+c. You don't want to buy too much, because most likely you won't get paid back.
2. Time the need. If your mortgage will be retired in 10 years, you will not need to cover that much after 10 years, so a single fixed term policy is not the best.
3. Employer's group coverage allows you the flexibility to increase( to certain limit) and decrease the coverage each year but the rate is higher than a long term policy, and the rate increases significantly after age 40.
In my case, when I was younger and without children, I had 1x wage in group policy. Then with each child to come I added more. Now my group rate got a bit high, I reduced the group coverage to cover my mortgage and purchased a term policy sufficient for my children's education. I did not put in an extra amount for surviving spouse because both of us are able to work. My wife also has similar coverage(two parts). Of couse each family has a difficult situation.
Disclaimer: None of my family or relatives works for any insurance company.
