说说我家昨天的事，同时向楼主请教

想起昨天3岁的女儿跟我说她的同学A不让她拿lunch bag回家，她就push 了A，A也push back, 这样她就哭了。我重复了她的话以后，说 I am sorry that she didn't allow you to take your lunch bag and she pushed you, but you pushed her first, right? When you push somebody, the chance is that they will push back and you don't like that. Next time, if someone stops you from getting anything, use your words to tell her or him that you want the thing. And you can find a teacher and ask for help. The teacher will help you and the teacher won't push her or him...can we do that next time? 来回强调了几个点以后，她勉强点点头表示同意。但立刻说，今天她们在操场上（意思是事情事在操场上发生的，老师不在旁边）。我也没别的招了，只能说，use your words and try to find the teacher. 

真心请教，在这种情况下，如何运用同理或更好的语言让她不主动使用暴力，又不至于觉得妈妈不帮她？尤其她正处在刚刚开始学习理性理解这个世界的情况下？她的语言和对语言的理解能力已经很好了，可再说复杂了，估计会听不懂。