https://www.reddit.com/r/mit/comments/12uu12a/impostor_syndrome/
起头的这篇看得我心酸，眼泪差点儿掉下来：
Impostor Syndrome
Feeling extreme doubts that I belong here and that I can get through this program, let alone achieve my goals or attain any type of fulfillment, in one piece. Last week I worked 74 hours, pulled two all-nighters, and got 4 hours of sleep a night on average, and I am still not even close to being on top of my load. The week before that I worked 63 hours. Is this what MIT is supposed to be like?
I cried harder than I can ever remember last night because I was so upset with myself for putting in as much as I was putting in, and not feeling like I was getting anything out. What upsets me so much is I know there are people out there who are putting in less work than me and getting more done, and I just don't know what to change or if I'm just doomed to be like this for the rest of my life.
As the semester comes to an end, I am seriously considering quitting, even though it was a lifelong dream of mine to be here. I still remember the day I got the acceptance letter and how excited I was, but I'm not sure I can sustain myself through this and I know it is only going to get harder.
The other day, I had an oddly subliminal dream, where I somehow got myself into a situation where I was a pilot and had to fly a commercial airplane in a few hours, even though I had no idea what I was doing. Ultimately, as the flight time neared, I ended up choosing to not fly the plane, which I felt like was the right decision. But when I told my mom about my decision, I felt a sense of disappointment from her I've never felt before, and I could tell she was also so worried about all the people I had left behind on the flight. The dream ended with me returning back to feeling like a kid again and play soccer with some old time friends.
然后看到了这篇，完美地诠释了什么是最适合自己的大学：
（可惜文学城不让我贴全文，只好剪掉中间的一部分）
Man, I feel like I could have written this as a freshman. Here are how things worked out for me OP, but everyone's journey is different. Just putting it here as a reference. I went to a public high school (2000-2004) in a very underserved area. Our graduation rate at the time was about 60%. I never really had to work or struggle in high school. Everything was easy and in could basically show up to class, and get an easy A. Hated writing essays and doing homework, and most of the time I didn't have to. I got into MIT.
Then freshman year I hit a wall. With the effects it had on me, might have as well been a physical wall. I remember a week where I pulled two all-nighters in a row and started hallucinating. It was rough. I was not doing well in any of my classes. But I started learning coping mechanisms.
。。。。。。
As for my story, I did not learn the above all in freshman year. I feel like the only thing that made me stay at MIT after freshman year was that summer. I did a UROP and I loved it. I think I figured out that it was what I wanted to do. From then on, I worked q UROP both during the year and the summers and somehow it made things better. It was nice having something I was good at. I also had plenty of time during the summer for activities, explored Boston and Cambridge, and had lots of friends by then. I also learned to sail! Great place to take partners to impress them (but only if you get good enough not to capsize)
I still struggled a lot sophomore and junior year. But I started to figure things out over that time. It wasn't really until sr. year that I really felt like I knew wtf I was doing. Also, I got into my first relationship then, and things felt great. I went from having B- grade average with a few Cs pepperd in there, to almost straight As Sr. Year.
So here is my 2 cent. See if you can stick it out. One of the valuable lessons of MIT is really to show people how hard they can push themselves and when you can't brute force your way out of it, how to find a different path. I feel like my life after MIT has been relatively easy (piece of cake PhD and a postdoc that never felt overwhelming) and I owe most of that to MIT. Feeling like if you make it there (especially if you are one of the people who struggles) then you can do absolutely anything in life.
That being said, nothing is worth your life, or long term mental health. If you feel like you are going to damage your health, cause self harm, or anything of the sort, don't even wait until the end of the semester. Seek help or stop, quit, maybe come back at a different time, maybe don't.
I had two friends who both quit MIT. Both are extremely successful right now. Remember you will always have what got you into MIT.
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I'm sorry for putting all this out there, I'm just trying to make sense of things, and wondering if maybe it's a message that I should drop out and return back to what made me happy as a kid.
选择“Disable on www.wenxuecity.com”
选择“don't run on pages on this domain”
