我是在over-reacting 吗？

We went out today with kids. It generally went well. But I did noticed that he seemed to be 心事重重。 when I told him that my baby was clapping his hands, and told him a couple of times, he had no reaction at all. Was I not loud enough? We was walking by side by side. He should hear that. He did interacted with my baby a couple of times. But I could feel his interest in my baby is far less than his interest in his child.

A 姐妹here told me to watch out if he care his daughter much more than me and my baby. In his initial email he said:"So, my daughter can meet your baby." I noticed that he didn't say that they can meet each other. At 6:50am today, he sent me an email asking me to confirm that my baby would come today because his daughter would be excited about this. At 8:00am, he called to ask me about this while I was asleep.

His daughter was very happy and made my baby giggling and excited. There were times that I thought that his daughter was playing too rough with my baby. But he didn't say anything. I just tried to hold my baby and not let she carried him away.

He was very careful about his daughter's whereabout. Constantly telling her to stay out of traffic, etc.

Everything seemed to be fine and we were kind of happy. I did feel a little unsure because he didn't try to hold my baby at all and he seemed to be concerned and preoccupied.

He helped us to load stroller into the car and buckled my baby. His daughter was trying to give my baby another cookie and I refused. I told them that I was afraid that he might choke on it. Then, I gave him a hug and say goodbye to him. It seems he has something want to tell me. It was until now that I realized that he was probably thinking about me stopping by his place tonight in someway. But at that moment, I felt a little awkward because it appeared that he was ready to say goodbye. So, I offered to drive him and his daughter to his car. He agreed. Then his daughter jumpped into the back seat. I asked him:"Do you want seat at the back seat?" He went straight and sit at the front seat. I felt so worried that his 7-year-old daughter might accidentially gave him something unsafe to eat. And my baby is used to have someone at the back seat to comfort him. So, when I got in the car, I asked him:"Could you please sit at the back seat?" He:"Lisa is there." I worried. He did not want to seat at the back seat. The baby was crying very loud by then. Mother's heart made me could stand that. I turned off my car and went to the back seat to comfort my baby. His tears were running down. I took him out of the car seat to comfort him. Then I asked again:"Would you please sit at the back seat? " He didn't answer for a while, while my baby was continusly crying. At that moment, I almost wanted to kick them out of the car and after making sure the baby couldn't get anything dangerous, I would drive home. But I held my temper. I told him:"I worried the baby might get something to choke himself. I had a friend his baby got some plastic into his mouth..." Before I finished my sentence, he cutted me off:"It is all right, Lisa is there." How could he be so sure a 7-year-old to make sure a 1 year old not get choked on something at dark? I kept silent. He finally asked:"You want me sit at the back? What about on your way home?" I 从牙齿缝里说："If YOU would like." He didn't move. My baby was still crying. After a while, he asked again:"You want me sit at the back?" This time, his daughter answered:"If you would like." I smiled at her and she smiled at me and she said to me:"He is crazy."

Then, he said:"What about I drive?" He got into the driver's seat and started the car. I told him:"Do not drive yet. The baby is not in his car seat." He said:"OK, I just turn it on." It was very difficult to get the baby into his car seat, especially with him playind with the music channel and navigation system. The baby was attracted to what was happening in the front seat and didn't want to sit at all. Finally, I had to ask him to turned off the car so I could get the baby in.

Finally, we got to his car. He first took his daughter to his car and then returned back to me to say goodbye. Then his daughter ran back and opened my car door to search for something. He was very worried that his daughter may run into traffic. His daughter said she lost her doll's necklace. It was something like an adult's ring and has some sharp edges on it. I immediately thought that we should look in the car and at least we need to make sure it was not in the reach of the baby. But he said:"You probably lost it somewhere else." Then, he told me:"It probably not in the car. She must dropped it somewhere else." But as a mother, I cann't take that chance. I still have about 20 minutes drive to be back home? What if he grabbed it and put it into his mouth? I didn't answer him. I just hope they leave soon so I can search the car myself to make sure no necklace, cookies, or anything else dangerous within the reach of the baby. Then, his daughter found the necklace right outside my car door.

I let them leave first by telling them that I need to comfort my baby for a while. After they left, I search my car to make sure.

On our way home, the baby cried all the way breathless. I felt so sad by letting my baby going throught this.

I am seriously thinking about breaking up with him. Was his behavior unacceptable? or he was just not careful enought? He was very very careful with his daughter though.

After I got home, my mom asked me if he held my baby. I said:"No." My mom said:"If he didn't hold him, that means he does not like him. 连抱都不抱一下。不管是谁，一定要对这孩子好。对孩子不好，谁都不行！“

我想关闭我的心门了。有时想找男人真不值当的。还不如关注自己的生活。

Then he called again telling me that normally he won't let me to stay in my own car and he left early, etc. I was surprised he didn't sense my emotional changes early at all. 咬牙切齿的跟他讲了几句，挂了电话。那意思好像是又想让我明晚去见他。

这个男人，好像除了性和他女儿，No Brain!

我是在over-reacting 吗？

所有跟帖： 

• yes, you are! -学习种果树- ♂ (108 bytes) () 11/17/2007 postreply 22:29:47

• Is this man Chinese or not? You two are not ready -beifang000- ♀ (204 bytes) () 11/17/2007 postreply 23:25:21

• No, he is not a Chinese. -back-to-dating- ♀ (131 bytes) () 11/17/2007 postreply 23:38:02

• 回复：我是在over-reacting 吗？ -Truthhurts- ♀ (267 bytes) () 11/17/2007 postreply 23:30:55

• 回复：我是在over-reacting 吗？ -N.- ♀ (410 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:09:24

• 心路這麼辛苦,值得嗎?孩子的幼兒期就這麼几年,帶好了 -rainornot- ♀ (84 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:11:12

• 还想再有一个孩子。等几年就要不了了。 -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:16:10

• 身邊好多人都是四十多歲再追一個孩子的,年紀大 -rainornot- ♀ (22 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:29:30

• 四十多歲再追一個孩子 -back-to-dating- ♀ (28 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:32:34

• 回复：四十多歲再追一個孩子 -rainornot- ♀ (26 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:44:45

• 谢您吉言。 -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:53:34

• 看着都累，一会抱怨你妈，一会抱怨他，还都是长篇大论。 --realblue-- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 06:28:18

• No, you are not over-reacting. Don't bring this trouble to your -AJ- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 06:33:26

• 我要是你，我才不会再浪费时间精力找男人, -wine- ♀ (946 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 06:58:54

• 她要是你。。。。 --realblue-- ♀ (37 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 08:35:54

• 谢谢 -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 22:46:52

• 你现在dating太早了，baby才一岁，虽然白人男子有"视如己出"的好名声， -smiling_face- ♀ (527 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 07:23:32

• 谢谢 -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 22:50:10

• not ready for it, if you want to focus exclusively on your kid -weston- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 07:32:05

• Knock Yourself Up: No Man? No Problem: A Tell-All Guide to Becom -N.- ♀ (267 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 08:51:21

• Thanks. Got the book. -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 22:45:15

• 婚前得不到的，婚后也难得到，如果你在乎就不算over-reacting -水儿~- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 08:52:54

• 谢谢 -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 22:51:13

• 你对别人要求这么高，又不会为别人考虑，找到幸福婚姻不容易 -听听意见- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 09:56:48

• 担心我的孩子被噎住有什么不对？在没有比这更低的要求了吧？我告诉了他我怕孩子噎住， -back-to-dating- ♀ (158 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 15:00:31

• 问题你的担心没什么道理的。西方规矩是大人坐前面孩子坐后面 -gqc- ♀ (194 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 20:31:04

• 担心我的孩子被噎住没有道理？你有孩子吗？ -back-to-dating- ♀ (284 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 22:42:59

• 你太气冲了。Dr.Laura会告诉你等孩子长到十八岁后再去交男朋友 -gqc- ♀ (392 bytes) () 11/19/2007 postreply 19:06:09

• 回复：你太气冲了。Dr.Laura会告诉你等孩子长到十八岁后再去交男朋友 -back-to-dating- ♀ (139 bytes) () 11/19/2007 postreply 22:23:57

• "Your pediatrician recommends constant supervision of your child -back-to-dating- ♀ (336 bytes) () 11/19/2007 postreply 22:38:08

• 把孩子的利益放在第一位是正确的。 -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/19/2007 postreply 22:39:59

• 谢谢大家！祝大家感恩节快乐！！言语不当处，请多包涵。 -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 22:53:30