Etiquette suggestion needed and other questions

I totally agree.
to the kids, they don't really realize the race difference. my son is always the most popular kid in the class (he has always been the only chinese or asia kid in the room)----the teacher told me he is the only boy that got invited to ALL the girls' birthday parties. last June, he just moved to 4 yrs old room. it only took one month that he become the other boys' best friends---who are almost 1 year older than him. when I picked him up, I saw other boys told their mom XX is his best friend and another mom told me her son talks about XX every day. also, they got time out together:)
However, it doesn't mean that there is no conflit while they play every day.
1) it is not a problem for my son to say: you stop it or that is not fair or I have it first, since he has been in daycare since he was 15 months old the problem is that that is as far as he goes. he won't hit other kids back. that is fine. however, he won't insist to have something back if they grab it from him unless the teacher saw it and make the kids give it back. otherwise he would just go to the corner and crying and say I don't got to have a chance. any suggestion to encourage him to be more aggressive. I told him many times. he would just say OK, I will do it tommorrow or mommy, I almost fight back today?
2) as for physical excercise, they spend hours everyday outdoor. we have a rainbow playset and soccer net in our backyard. two big playgrounds in our neighbourhood. however,I think my son is too careful. he doesn't like to take any risk. it took him 4 hours to decide that it is ok to get in the swimming pool. before that, he just sat down on the edge and played with his friends who stayed in the water. in the playgound, something like monkey bar... he won't do it which leaded to a very funny scenary: a girl insisted she would teach him to do it but he keeped screamming : I won't do it. ....
3) Etiquette with other moms: it seems my son doesn't have a problem to fit in while I am the one that has problems. ---well, I have to say I am in a good relationship with other parents. but when there are a few parents stay togethe and talk, most of the time I just listen and smile. if there are only me and another parents, that is worst because I don't know what to say after the regular greeting. I am not sure what should I say and should not ask and what topic to say. some parents mentioned "play date" to me. how do i know if they really mean it. what do you do during the play date? what to prepare?
4) off topic--- we are going to send our son to a private school which is not a chain school but is almost 120yrs old ( it is very competitive and we will go to see a counselor to see how to get it). our concern is how to make sure our boy will feel comfortable among those rich kids? with only one kid, we can afford the 25K+ tuition and won't eligible for the financial aid. but we are not rich. as most chinese, we came here with nothing 10 yrs ago and now in our early 30s and in our early stage of our career. some american said we should find a school that is in the same economic level? but this is really a good school? what do you think? our logic is that if we want to go to private school, go to the best,otherwise we will just stay in our public school which is the best in the area.
thanks.

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• Wow,好多问题。我试着答一下。 -香草仙子- ♀ (786 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 05:55:32

• 抱歉，家里有sleepover。小孩都醒了。我要去做早餐。下面两问 -香草仙子- ♀ (12 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 06:33:54

• 接着答题。 -香草仙子- ♀ (1031 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 08:16:41