I feel your pain deeply. Before I was stuck where you are at, distancing my kids furthere and further by Chinese-style parenting, was not able to figure out what went wrong. Stronly recommend you to try "landmark forum" course which changed the lens through which I view life. "Change the way we look at things, the things we look at CHANGE" - Wayne Dyer. I have gained much more peace and calmness through this transformation. Most of all, I am getting my relationship back with my family. Your son is perfect the way he is, showing your unconditional love will calm him down and give him room to grow. Wish you best luck!!!
Change the way we look at things, the things we look at CHANGE
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