The importance of physical contact and chores

Thank you for sharing your experience and I comment you for taking the courage and initiative in asking for professional help.  

 

From the very beginning of being a parent, I learned the importance of physical contact.  It can be as simple as a fist bump, a hand shake, a tap at the shoulder. I still have yet to learn to hug. This simple act reinforces the bond between parents and kids. It can heal quickly after an argument. 

I too became irrated when my commands are ignored sometimes. One day, I  realized that he did not ignore it on purpose, he ignored it because that he either did not hear it at the first time, or heard it but forgot immediately afterwards.  It told him that he can be as rebellious as he can be, he can ignore our commands as he wishes, but it is our job as parents to teach him. Instead of yelling at him, I remind him right away when he has not done what he is asked to do. As a chore, for example, it is his job to set up the dinner table, and his job to put dishes away after dinner.  When he leaves the table without putting things away, I would remind him about it. He typically would listen without any objection because he knew that it is his job and he has not done it.

We must realize that our kids spend more time at school than at home, they learn both the good and the bad from each other. We have the benefits of growing up in two different cultures, they only know one. Their value and expectations can be very different from ours.  

所有跟帖： 

• Chores, instead of choir -H.I.- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/02/2017 postreply 07:58:42

• Thanks. I thought that it looks funny. -yude- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/02/2017 postreply 09:13:15