I read some of the reddit comments

and was surprised to see your sentiment was shared by many.  I have always fascinated by how the Fob or second generation perceive their own cultural roots and identity.  Bill Moyers interviewed some prominent Asian American, among whom included Maya Lin, Gish Jen and Zha Jianying, for his series “Becoming American” many years ago.  Zha came to US after college. She struck me as the one has the strongest sense of cultural identity and a conflicted feeling about being a American Chinese; maybe unconsciously she treated America as “the Other”.  Gish Jen cared the least the labels such as Chinese or American. She is who she is; there is no need to get confirmation from anyone other than herself.   Interestingly, Maya Lin’s autobiography has the title “ Boundaries”.   Lin drew inspiration from her heritage and her parents’ aesthetic sensibilities even though she wasn’t brought up a typical Chinese way nor was she speaking Chinese at home. She is the one defining the boundaries and eventually transcended them in many ways.

You can watch Becoming American - The Chinese Experience at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgLzWQ7MnhQ