致sqxsqx, 作为反面教材我讲几句

When my daughter was in the elementary school (also in Canada at that time), I as a father was very restrictive on her with extremely high standard and expectation. When she asked me some questions about her study, I taught her once and expected her to understand immediately. If she still couldn't understand it, I would be angry and say some really harsh words like it was so simple and why you were so stupid and sometimes I even threw her book or homework away. Of course, this would make my daughter feel really bad and harm her self-esteem and confidence. Gradually she would rarely ask me any questions since she was afraid of me and didn't want to suffer humiliation from me. This caused a lot of tension and conflict among me and her as well as my wife. Due to my stubbornness and lack of love, the bad situation lasted for a few years. Then my wife asked me to stop my way of educating and disciplining, otherwise the family would be destroyed. Only until that moment, I realized the seriousness of my mistake and even though my intensions were good but the outcomes were all bad since nobody in the family was happy. So I gave up my way and let my daughter be herself with enough freedom. She has the freedom to try out many things as she wishes. The only things I do are to encourage her and be a faithful driver. My daughter turns out to be an outgoing, intelligent and loveable person. Now when I looked back, I am so glad and thankful that I made a wise choice at the most difficult time of the family. Otherwise, I would have lived in a miserable life by myself alone since most likely my wife would have divorced with me.

So I would beg the LZ’s husband to read my story and get some lesson from my wrong doing in educating and disciplining kids. Please leave your daughter alone and give her the freedom of doing her things in her way and be herself with self-esteem and confidence. I believe that your daughter is intelligent enough to manage her study and life. May God bless you, your daughter and the whole family.

所有跟帖： 

• 说说你是怎么做到审时度势，从众随良放弃自己权威地位的。 -Rockeymountain- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 13:41:22

• 竟然想到浪子回头金不换这句话。lol -晚风吹- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 13:45:03

• 我也是到了路的尽头只好作此（明智）选择，不然的话会是妻离家散，白了中年头，空悲彻。 -sunshinecity- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 14:42:04

• 你做得很明智。你放手后，也许孩子学习没有最大限度发挥， 但是孩子身心健康好得很多，家庭和睦，这对孩子长远发展有更积极的作用。 -难得糊涂吧- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 13:43:53

• 说的有道理。 -千里一盏灯- ♂ (504 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 13:47:28

• 赞一个。不过也许你比sqx的LG要求更高些？从有限的信息来看， -飞*星- ♂ (128 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 13:50:06

• 另，你 LP有没有每次在你们父女闹矛盾时插进来 negate你所说的一切？我觉得 sqx那种总是拆LG台的做法很不妥，打击他作为 -飞*星- ♂ (74 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 13:59:23

• 尊重和威信是赢得来的, 不是靠fear, force得来的。 -加州阳光123- ♀ (68 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 14:38:42

• 当另一个家长总是跳进来拆台的时候，什么威信和尊重在孩子面前都变成了joke。这是真的。 -飞*星- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 15:37:08

• 赞，幸好有妈妈的挺身而出，要不女儿太可怜了。 -弯脚杆- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 14:55:32

• 在这种情况下妈妈一定得站在孩子这边，要不然孩子就只剩绝望了。何况这个父亲还有暴力倾向。你以为妈妈私下没说过吗？他连妈妈都打过。 -难得糊涂吧- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 15:27:39

• 估计这母亲是打从孩子很小时就总是加进来拆台，针锋相对。。结果就有了今天的难收拾的局面，要来这里求救。看到结果了吧？ -飞*星- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 15:34:11

• 赞一个 -babybob- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 15:55:25

• 飞*星 生活中肯定也是这样一个爸爸，为什么把过错都推到妈妈身上？不深刻检讨自己 -babybob- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 15:58:09

• 我当然也看到那父亲的短处，但他并不如你们说的一无是处。你们太偏激了。另外，以事论事，请别那么快人身攻击。 -飞*星- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 16:07:42

• 对不起！只是看到你把过错推倒妈妈身上，为妈妈抱不平 -babybob- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 16:58:16

• 那个时候工作不稳定压力大，所以没耐心教女儿,动不动就发脾气。 -sunshinecity- ♂ (219 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 15:27:19

• 小时候也吵过，因为从我的角度看不得不吵。 我女儿四岁的时候 -sqxsqx- ♀ (1002 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 16:00:32

• 孩子越被夸奖就做得越好, 越被批评, -加州阳光123- ♀ (185 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 16:10:12

• 赞一个！你的经历值得很多虎爹娘参考。很多男同胞用心善良，但脾气暴躁，方式不对， 在西方文化社会里是万万使不得！！！ -凑闹- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/30/2016 postreply 16:14:34