When my daughter was in the elementary school (also in Canada at that time), I as a father was very restrictive on her with extremely high standard and expectation. When she asked me some questions about her study, I taught her once and expected her to understand immediately. If she still couldn't understand it, I would be angry and say some really harsh words like it was so simple and why you were so stupid and sometimes I even threw her book or homework away. Of course, this would make my daughter feel really bad and harm her self-esteem and confidence. Gradually she would rarely ask me any questions since she was afraid of me and didn't want to suffer humiliation from me. This caused a lot of tension and conflict among me and her as well as my wife. Due to my stubbornness and lack of love, the bad situation lasted for a few years. Then my wife asked me to stop my way of educating and disciplining, otherwise the family would be destroyed. Only until that moment, I realized the seriousness of my mistake and even though my intensions were good but the outcomes were all bad since nobody in the family was happy. So I gave up my way and let my daughter be herself with enough freedom. She has the freedom to try out many things as she wishes. The only things I do are to encourage her and be a faithful driver. My daughter turns out to be an outgoing, intelligent and loveable person. Now when I looked back, I am so glad and thankful that I made a wise choice at the most difficult time of the family. Otherwise, I would have lived in a miserable life by myself alone since most likely my wife would have divorced with me.
So I would beg the LZ's husband to read my story and get some lesson from my wrong doing in educating and disciplining kids. Please leave your daughter alone , respect her and give her the freedom of doing her things in her way and be herself with self-esteem and confidence. I believe that your daughter is intelligent enough to manage her study and life. May God bless you, your daughter and the whole family.
