1.First of all, Happy July the 4th!
2. A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?"
"Oh awful, just awful!" she replied.
"What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?"
"Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all."
"Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked.
"Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied.
"Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?"
"It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"
3. Two queers were at the fairground.
Jamie said that he wanted to go on the Ferris wheel but Clive had a sore bum and decided not to go on as well. The wheel went round and round and then suddenly the cart that Jamie was seated in falls to the ground, landing at Clive's feet.
"Are you hurt Jamie?" cried Clive in a high pitched faggotty squeal.
"Of course I am you bitch!" replied Jamie with tears in eyes, "Three times I went round and you didn't wave once to me!"
4. How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one.....but it takes an entire emergency room to remove it!
5. What are the first symptoms of AIDS?
Doctor: A pounding sensation in the arse!
6. A queer goes into a doctor's surgery convinced that he is pregnant.
"How could you possibly be pregnant?" asked the doctor, "Who is the father?"
"What do you think I have?" asked the queer, "Eyes in the back of my head?"
7. What's the definition of tender love?
Two faggots with haemorrhoids!
8. Did you hear about the two queers who went to London?
They were really pissed off when they found out that Big Ben was a clock!
9. What does a homo and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go WHOO! WHOO!
10.Two homos decide that they want to have a baby, but they don't want to adopt because they want the baby to be as close to their own as possible. So they both masturbate into a cup and have a doctor use their sperm to impregnate a female friend of theirs. Nine months later, the two fags are looking at their baby in the hospital nursery. All of the babies are crying and screaming except for theirs.
"Wow!" one of the fags says, "Our baby is the most well behaved one of the lot!"
A nurse who happened to be walking by replied, "Now he's quiet, but wait until we take the pacifier out of his arse!"
11. Did you know that 70% of the homo population was born that way?
The other 30% were sucked into it!
12. What is a shit?
A faggots wet dream!
13. What does AIDS stand for?
Arsehole Injected Death Sentence!
14. Why are faggots always the first out of burning buildings?
Because they already have their shit packed!
15. Why can't scientist's discover a cure for AIDS?
Because they can't get the laboratory mice to fuck each other up the arse!
16. Why did the faggot take two aspirin with his viagra?
So sex wouldn't be such a big pain in the arse!
17. Have you heard about the new breakfast cereal called Queerios?
Pour milk on them and they eat themselves!
18. What do you call a gay club with no stools?
A fruit stand!
19. What do you call the foreskin on a faggot?
Mudflaps!
20. There was an auto race from San Francisco to Miami between a car full of fags and a car full of lesbians. Who arrived in Miami first?
The lesbians did. They 'Headed' down Highway '69' doing Lickety Split while the fags were still in San Francisco packing their shit!
21. What's the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
At a straight rodeo everybody yells, "Ride them suckers!
22. What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
Male Fraud!
23. A guy walks into a homosexual bar. He's a newly discovered gay and has come to find a couple of flings. Anyway, he is sitting at the bar, eating, drinking and checking out the crowd when he has a sudden urge to fart. He looks round and sees other people farting nicely. One 'Pssssttttt' here and another 'Pssssstttt' there. He decides, what the hell, and farts a loud 'Brrrrrttttttt'! All of a sudden, the bar is quiet, and everybody points to him and shouts "VIRGIN!"
24. What's the hardest thing about AIDS?
Leaving your friends behind!
25. How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change the bulb, and six to shriek, "Faaaaaaabulous!"
2. A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?"
"Oh awful, just awful!" she replied.
"What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?"
"Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all."
"Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked.
"Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied.
"Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?"
"It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"
3. Two queers were at the fairground.
Jamie said that he wanted to go on the Ferris wheel but Clive had a sore bum and decided not to go on as well. The wheel went round and round and then suddenly the cart that Jamie was seated in falls to the ground, landing at Clive's feet.
"Are you hurt Jamie?" cried Clive in a high pitched faggotty squeal.
"Of course I am you bitch!" replied Jamie with tears in eyes, "Three times I went round and you didn't wave once to me!"
4. How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one.....but it takes an entire emergency room to remove it!
5. What are the first symptoms of AIDS?
Doctor: A pounding sensation in the arse!
6. A queer goes into a doctor's surgery convinced that he is pregnant.
"How could you possibly be pregnant?" asked the doctor, "Who is the father?"
"What do you think I have?" asked the queer, "Eyes in the back of my head?"
7. What's the definition of tender love?
Two faggots with haemorrhoids!
8. Did you hear about the two queers who went to London?
They were really pissed off when they found out that Big Ben was a clock!
9. What does a homo and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go WHOO! WHOO!
10.Two homos decide that they want to have a baby, but they don't want to adopt because they want the baby to be as close to their own as possible. So they both masturbate into a cup and have a doctor use their sperm to impregnate a female friend of theirs. Nine months later, the two fags are looking at their baby in the hospital nursery. All of the babies are crying and screaming except for theirs.
"Wow!" one of the fags says, "Our baby is the most well behaved one of the lot!"
A nurse who happened to be walking by replied, "Now he's quiet, but wait until we take the pacifier out of his arse!"
11. Did you know that 70% of the homo population was born that way?
The other 30% were sucked into it!
12. What is a shit?
A faggots wet dream!
13. What does AIDS stand for?
Arsehole Injected Death Sentence!
14. Why are faggots always the first out of burning buildings?
Because they already have their shit packed!
15. Why can't scientist's discover a cure for AIDS?
Because they can't get the laboratory mice to fuck each other up the arse!
16. Why did the faggot take two aspirin with his viagra?
So sex wouldn't be such a big pain in the arse!
17. Have you heard about the new breakfast cereal called Queerios?
Pour milk on them and they eat themselves!
18. What do you call a gay club with no stools?
A fruit stand!
19. What do you call the foreskin on a faggot?
Mudflaps!
20. There was an auto race from San Francisco to Miami between a car full of fags and a car full of lesbians. Who arrived in Miami first?
The lesbians did. They 'Headed' down Highway '69' doing Lickety Split while the fags were still in San Francisco packing their shit!
21. What's the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
At a straight rodeo everybody yells, "Ride them suckers!
22. What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
Male Fraud!
23. A guy walks into a homosexual bar. He's a newly discovered gay and has come to find a couple of flings. Anyway, he is sitting at the bar, eating, drinking and checking out the crowd when he has a sudden urge to fart. He looks round and sees other people farting nicely. One 'Pssssttttt' here and another 'Pssssstttt' there. He decides, what the hell, and farts a loud 'Brrrrrttttttt'! All of a sudden, the bar is quiet, and everybody points to him and shouts "VIRGIN!"
24. What's the hardest thing about AIDS?
Leaving your friends behind!
25. How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change the bulb, and six to shriek, "Faaaaaaabulous!"
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