孩子的叛逆行为可以分为四类：

建议你去读这本书 http://www.amazon.com/The-Parents-Handbook-Systematic-Effective/dp/0785411887 

Goals of children mi*****ehavior:
1. Attention: parents feel annoyed, usually will continue to nag & remind
2. Power: parents feel angry & threatened, will punish and fiht back
3. Revenge: parents feel very hurt & angry, will get back at child and punish.
4. Display inadequacy: parents feel hopeless, will give up on child.

你女儿的反应偏向第三种。建议你检讨一下你平时和孩子交流的方式方法。也许你的某些做法让她觉得不公平？