The best way to teach children is Lead by Example. If you believe in something, do it yourself.If you have confidence, there is no need to force your opinion on your wife.BTW, your wife has a good point. To be a leader, you need to be strong and independent, but you also need to listen and comprise. Be brave is not the same as being reckless. Your children will pick the one they want to follow, based on your action not your words. If you force your opinion on your family, they will resent you.
Another piece of advise, always try to interprete others' intention in the positive way, especially your wife's intention, if you believe you are a good man,a good hu*****and and a good father.
Last but not least, 海纳百川,有容乃大。
共勉