我家老大领回家时七岁半,老二五岁.是这样滴.......

来源: 丁师傅于 2011-06-06 18:30:41 [档案] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读：次 (1705 bytes)

回答: 该不该领养？由也披马甲于 2011-06-06 13:25:33

(Sorry for switching to English. I type faster this way. Let me know if questions.) My hu*****and and I did not want to start from scratch so we decided to adopt and applied for older kids. Plus older kids (such as our first daughter) and kids with medical conditions (like our second) are considered special needs (SN). There is no waitlist for SN kids. The wait for healthy babies is 3-4 years for people of Chinese descent, much longer for non-Chinese, which we had no patience for. Since both are adopted, I assume it is easier to deal with issues potentially associated with bio vs. adoptee. To be honest, you would be so occupied that you would hardly have time to think if you are treating both fairly. I have met people who praised us for what we did. We dont really care what people say because we are so buried with the crap in our daily life. We both work full time, no in-law help at all, and we opted not to use babysitters because we wanted the kids to bond with us. You can imagine there is no time to think of anything pratically useless. We still think 2 is perfect! I would recommend though to adopt younger than 6 yo. It also depends on the upbring of the kids. Our first grew up in an orphanage since she was 2 days old. Her cognitive development was behind her peers due to lack of personal care. It is fascinating to see their progress, very rewarding. Sometimes people ask me if I anticipate the girls to take care of me when I get old. My answer is that I just want them to be able to take care of themselves and move out of the house in their early 20's.