My son came to the State a month before 5 years old. My thoughts were for him to have a normal childhood now that we are in a country that is claimed the "heaven of children". I don't want him to live a childhood like most kids in China-going one class after another, burdened with all sorts of extracurricular activities.
From kindergarten to 5th grade, my son was just playing (and I hoped he enjoyed it). Even though we lived in an apartment complex where there were a lots of chinese kids including some pushy chinese parents, we were never pushy. Of course, my son tried all sorts of things, piano, swimming,skating, tae kwon do..., but we let him give up if he wasn't interested. For school, there was barely homework, and I thought that was how the U.S. schools were.
Then came to his middle school and we moved to a different state. The middle school cares more about academics and had homework for kids everyday and deducted their grades if they turn in homework late(I am not sure if all middle schools are like this or just our old state doesn't). this is new to my son-he wasn't used to this and he often forgot to do homework or did homework but forgot to turn them in. He was getting better but being organized is still his challenge. We also realized my son doesn't have the habit of studying and he doesn't know how to study. He got home at 3:00pm and barely did anything from that time until I got home which was 5:00pm. we didn't make him study in the evening.
Things started to get serious this summer when my son finished middle school. We realized if we don't make my son study he won't, and then he may not be able to go to college-an ok one. We started to talk a lot about he needs to spend more time on studying and he resisted at first but gradually realized he doesn't really have other choices. Now we can only hope he will catch up and make it to a not too bad college.
These days I have thought a lot if I could start it over what would I have done differently? One thing I wouldn't change is to let him have a normal and carefree childhood-playing with other kids like I did when I was a child. But I had to admit there are lots of things I wish I did differently. Among them these are the lessons I learned from my exerience:
1. Forster good habits in early years is important, even though you are not a "Ivy League mom" and don't want to push your kid(s)
2. Hold boys one more year to start school if you can. Many boys are not as mature as girls. Give them one more year may make their lives earlier. Besides, holding them back one year means they can be with you one more year. Of course there are always exceptions.
3. your kid(s) should always be your first priority. This is easier said than done, especially when you have other things to worry about. Spend more time with them and listen to them.
Sorry for the long message. Having been diving in this forum I learned a lot from everyone. I am very thankful.
By realized that he didn't know how to study
From kindergarten to 5th grade, my son was just playing (and I hoped he enjoyed it). Even though we lived in an apartment complex where there were a lots of chinese kids including some pushy chinese parents, we were never pushy. Of course, my son tried all sorts of things, piano, swimming,skating, tae kwon do..., but we let him give up if he wasn't interested. For school, there was barely homework, and I thought that was how the U.S. schools were.
Then came to his middle school and we moved to a different state. The middle school cares more about academics and had homework for kids everyday and deducted their grades if they turn in homework late(I am not sure if all middle schools are like this or just our old state doesn't). this is new to my son-he wasn't used to this and he often forgot to do homework or did homework but forgot to turn them in. He was getting better but being organized is still his challenge. We also realized my son doesn't have the habit of studying and he doesn't know how to study. He got home at 3:00pm and barely did anything from that time until I got home which was 5:00pm. we didn't make him study in the evening.
Things started to get serious this summer when my son finished middle school. We realized if we don't make my son study he won't, and then he may not be able to go to college-an ok one. We started to talk a lot about he needs to spend more time on studying and he resisted at first but gradually realized he doesn't really have other choices. Now we can only hope he will catch up and make it to a not too bad college.
These days I have thought a lot if I could start it over what would I have done differently? One thing I wouldn't change is to let him have a normal and carefree childhood-playing with other kids like I did when I was a child. But I had to admit there are lots of things I wish I did differently. Among them these are the lessons I learned from my exerience:
1. Forster good habits in early years is important, even though you are not a "Ivy League mom" and don't want to push your kid(s)
2. Hold boys one more year to start school if you can. Many boys are not as mature as girls. Give them one more year may make their lives earlier. Besides, holding them back one year means they can be with you one more year. Of course there are always exceptions.
3. your kid(s) should always be your first priority. This is easier said than done, especially when you have other things to worry about. Spend more time with them and listen to them.
Sorry for the long message. Having been diving in this forum I learned a lot from everyone. I am very thankful.
By realized that he didn't know how to study
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