Accept the Awkwardness

We face the same issue at home. Very often I know the trigger so I try to avoid the trigger in the first place.

We set up some rules and chores that we all seem to agree on.

Rule 1.  We are his parents. It is our duty to raise him and correct him; He is a teenager, and he is entitled to his awkward behaviors.  There will be clashes.  After each clash, we remind him the cause of it.

Rule 2, When we need to speak to him, he is required to come out of his room so that we can see his face and have eye contact.   Texting or speaking over the phone is acceptable in some cases.

Rule 3. He is required to sit down and eat with us. In addition, he has to set up the table before hand and clean up the table afterwards. “I am not hungry now” or “I will eat later” is not an acceptable excuse.

Rule 4. Avoid saying  “Hey, Hey, Hey.”, “Ok, OK, Ok, Ok.” This is the trigger that triggers us the parents most often.

Rule 5. This is for his mom. Stop probing for answers. Leave him alone. 

Rule 6. (for his mom again) Let him make his own mistakes.

His only chore is to put away clean dishes, and take out trash and recycle bin. This is easy to enforce because the result is instant, still he needs reminder.  Periodically, clean his room.