君之詩，情真而語不真。

来源: 中间小谢 于 2024-05-03 23:37:43 [] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 阅读数 : (387 bytes)
回答: 谢谢心中的城市 由 沙漠黄昏 于 2024-05-03 11:58:21

吾今夜真情大放送，什麽都實話實説。

The last line of this verse is very good, and I like it a lot. Yet the rest is so conventional. I think you will need to nourish a language more personal and truer to yourself.

I think the 真情 in your writing is a very good thing. Many writers fake things.

Hope you don't mind my comments.

所有跟帖： 

• 写作的人应该能接受各种各样的评价。 -沙漠黄昏- ♂ 给 沙漠黄昏 发送悄悄话 沙漠黄昏 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/04/2024 postreply 03:53:15

请您先登陆，再发跟帖！