你的詩寫得太扭捏了。

You can't create poetry by twisting what is lacking it.

Linmu's piece below is good, mainly due to the idea of the end line, which carries poetry in itself, therefore it can be put out straightforward without any twisting.

 

所有跟帖： 

• 多谢表达你的读诗焦虑，意料中的。诗歌小众自带名片，非我要写得怎样，是她要我写成怎样。你喜林兄的诗很好，这次竟无意中碰头了 -老键- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2024 postreply 11:18:10

• 诗的评价因人因时而异。emily dickinson生前几乎没人认为她是诗人。 -冯墟- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2024 postreply 14:24:39