"Suicide Is Painless" is a song written by Johnny Mandel (music) and Michael Altman (lyrics) for the 1970 film M*A*S*H. In addition to being performed by characters in the film, it plays during the title sequence, and an instrumental version is likewise the theme music for the TV series based on the film, playing over the opening and closing credits.
Background[edit]
The song was written for Ken Prymus, the actor playing Private Seidman, to sing during the faux-suicide of Walter "Painless Pole" Waldowski (John Schuck) in the film's "Last Supper" scene.[1][2] Director Robert Altman had two stipulations about the song for composer Johnny Mandel: it had to be called "Suicide Is Painless" and it had to be the "stupidest song ever written".[3] Altman attempted to write the lyric himself, but, upon finding it too difficult for his "45-year-old brain" to write something "stupid" enough,[4] he gave the task to his 14-year-old-son Michael, who reportedly wrote the lyrics in five minutes.[5][6][7]
Altman later decided that the song worked so well he would use it as the film's main theme, despite Mandel's initial objections.[8] This more choral version was sung by uncredited session singers John Bahler, Tom Bahler, Ron Hicklin, and Ian Freebairn-Smith, and was released as a single attributed to "The Mash". Altman said that, while he only made $70,000 for directing the movie, his son had earned more than $1 million for co-writing the song.[9]
Several instrumental versions of the song were used as the theme for the TV series, but the lyrics were never used in the show.[10] It became a number-one hit in the UK Singles Chart in May 1980.[11] The song was ranked No. 66 on AFI's 100 Years...100 Songs.
