Shredded yesterday/Wish it were you 谢谢近兄奖状，再灌一瓢水

Shredded yesterday

Shredded yesterday
floats in the air
I snatch one piece
and wish it were you

Shredded light
scatters in the room
I stare at one corner
and wish it were you

Shredded silence
fills the ocean
I surf one wave
and wish it were you

love © a day ago
 Like (3) 
 

Likes: Mentalist, Sea Glass, Keng

Sea Glass - for me this brevity speaks volumes of missing and wanting a loved one

Lovely

a day ago   

 

Keng - i enjoyed.   flows nice and the feeling of loss comes through.  If i could be bold - not sure of "shredded" for me "goodbye" works nice too, and is more expressive of loss maybe.

a day ago   

 

Mentalist - Beautiful ways art craft with fine and wonderful ways of expression in wonders.

Clever write

a day ago   

所有跟帖： 

• 你该得的奖状 -lovecat08- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 08:00:20

• 再接再厉 -lovecat08- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 08:00:49

• 这首不错，情绪递进，最后的海洋非常宽阔 -浮云驰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 12:27:03

• 谢谢云 -颤音- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:34:16

• 又没中译。 -lovecat08- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:03:07

• 不敢去Google译了，乱翻。 -lovecat08- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:04:00

• 谷歌翻译的最像时髦的现代诗 -颤音- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:19:39

• 形容得好！真像啊！ -lovecat08- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:23:03

• 我清楚地记得这个玩世不恭的人；感觉这首还有些生气！点赞！ -卢岩- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:19:21

• 问好！俺玩世不恭？认错人了？哈哈哈 -颤音- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:20:56

• 上次看了你的歪诗后，别人都赞；我没赞，查过你，怎么会记错呢！ -卢岩- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:25:45

• 我写的都是歪的 哈哈哈 -颤音- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/29/2022 postreply 14:27:05